60,000-79,999 SparkPoints 63,478

My Spark Crush and Secret Weight Loss

Saturday, December 29, 2012

First off, let me say that I am a somewhat embarrassed, ashamed, disappointed…whatever you want to call it…that I have been on SparkPeople nearly FIVE YEARS and about the only accomplishment (if you can call it that) is that I have managed not to gain. Apparently I have been in “maintenance”. Yeah, that’s right I have been “maintaining” in the 270 pound SEVERELY OBESE range. emoticon Something FINALLY happened in November that has FINALLY turned my thinking around. I guess you could say it was the perfect SH1T storm for change (ah hah hah ah! Sorry, but that’s ME. I DO swear). My son was on track and lost over 100 pounds and was looking and feeling great. My younger sister had done the same and then I learned that one of my older sisters was also on track and losing. I was so excited for them that I realized I did not want to be left behind. I wanted to go where they went. I was ready to take a hard look at myself and accept responsibility for my health.



I had been lurking for quite some time marveling at her success and delightful deadpan sense of humor. OK, I kinda had a “Spark Crush” on her. SHADDUP. It’s not what you think. It’s the “Oooh! She is so pretty and so together and smart and quirky and FUN! I wanna be like HER!” kind of crush. Anyway she starts up this team “Christmas Present From Me” Team challenging members to LOSE 5 pounds in the 5 weeks prior to Christmas, thereby “gifting” themselves with a 5 pound loss. Long story short – I lost a little over TEN POUNDS. During the holiday season. Unbelievable for me. Now, instead of feeling miserable, bloated and remorseful at the end of the year, I am excited and hopeful. And my jeans are looser. emoticon

There is no stopping me now. I have big dreams and big goals and I am going after them. I’m just not telling anyone outside of Sparkdom. I am just quietly working toward my goals and rewarding myself along the way with a bead for my bracelet for every 5 pounds as a visual cue to myself to keep reaching. I can’t wait for the day when my hubby or anyone actually NOTICES my weight loss and makes a remark. That will be a milestone because it will be REAL and not a kind compliment because they know I am actively working on losing weight and are trying to be encouraging. Of course at my size, I will likely need to lose at least 30 pounds to make it REALLY noticeable, but that is OK. THIS time my weight loss is a SECRET because every other time I have announced it to the world others butted in and I felt resentful and judged. This is MY FIGHT and I can do it on my own. I do not need anyone suggesting all kinds of diets, pills, self-help books, etc. I KNOW what works for ME and I am doing it now.

Thanks for listening. I hope that we all have a wonderful, healthy 2013 with much love, laughter and success! emoticon
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are AWESOME!!!

    1634 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1634 days ago
    Yay for you!!!!!! Everybody has that AHA moment- even if it's just not wanting to be the one left behind at the fat station. Glad you got your spark back. It will be our little secret. emoticon
    1635 days ago
    Good for you! I loved your blog and all the comments. Especially 'I am not the jerk whisperer'. I'm going to use that!

    2013 is the year for both of us, I know it!
    1638 days ago
    (I've read the printed blog THREE times today instead of tackling the Pot of Gold demonic chocolates, Thank YOU!)
    1639 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    I wish I could say I maintained. Instead I lost and regained all but about 30 pounds back. You have a great start here! Keep it going for the new year.

    We are going to rock 2013!
    1639 days ago
    Wow! You're doing so good.. 10 lbs during the Holidays is a big accomplishment! I have a feeling you will take it all the way this time.
    I'm getting back on track myself and keeping it to myself. Its safe here at SP. We have the same goal - getting healthy at our own pace! Keep on keeping on!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1639 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/31/2012 9:59:39 AM
    SHUDDAP! emoticon emoticon
    SH!T is my favourite. I had a hard time convincing other parents when my first born was 1 1/2 that when he said, "Sh!t" he was really saying, "See it" in preschoolese. After scorns and head shakes and dirty looks I learned the term 'screw it'. I'm done letting their superiority complexes suck the joy out of my day. Little dude was enjoying life and wanting to share it with them and they were too busy hugging nasty.

    This is the same reason I kept my journey a secret to SparkWorld.
    You shine just a little bit and moths swarm. People let their demons loose and like moths to a flame, out comes jealousy, superiority/inferiority, and all kinds of ugly and we turn on ourselves.

    Instead, spread that love ~ starting with you.
    Serious people ask me quietly, "How?" and I just give them the website. They're usually the same ppl that know that this is my sanctuary for internal and external healing and details are not discussed outside of this forum.
    "Don't try to win over the haters; you are not the jerk whisperer."

    (FYI ~ I SO printed this out and I am hanging it all over my house in the Hot Spots of temptation to keep me feeling this awesome high of being a blessing. Printing off SPfriends encouraging words really helped when the naysayers spread their doom and gloom.)

    1639 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/31/2012 6:07:25 AM
    I started at 353 and I had to lose 70 pounds before anyone noticed. I kept waiting and waiting... emoticon
    So don't give up. You are healing from the inside out, even if it is not showing on the outside yet. And they will notice eventually!

    Hugs and Happy New Year.

    1640 days ago
    Wow a 10 lbs loss is awesome! And to lose it around the holidays is so cool! WTG!
    1640 days ago
    Congratulations on moving away from the "maintaining" to "losing"!! Keep it up!!
    1640 days ago
  • JMC155
    emoticon each of us have that little thing happen that gives us a spark. Once we find it we are the only ones that can keep it going. I do understand the need not to tell others. emoticon
    1640 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1640 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1641 days ago
    Awesome! I, too, have "maintained" my unhealthy weight. I need to find that "spark" in me again to lose it. Glad you found yours!! Congrats! on the loss and keep going! emoticon
    1641 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.