Saturday, December 29, 2012
Perhaps if I admit it in the old blog, it will be properly exorcised and I will be able to successfully fix this. Since I've been dating Jess, I went from gaining 10 pounds, to 20 pounds, to 30 ...and this morning scale, which may be a bit off because of my current mid-periodness - said 40 LBS, I went from 309) to as low as 195-ish - and this morning 235 lbs. Efffff.
I know I'm beautiful. I know I don't need to (actually no, I don't know I don't need to, I know I need to, but Jess keeps telling me that I don't need to and I'm beautiful and all that wonderful stuff) but I really hate that I had lost all that weight, and slowly in the past year, I've let my weight creep back up with bad eating and not working out.
Jess and I joined a gym yesterday (note: Jess is 5 foot 8 inches and maybe has gone up to 130 lbs with a full tummy, she wants to gain more muscle, get more fit, not lose weight), and she won me a Gazelle in an auction ("as part of my christmas gifts) (I really did get spoiled). I need to get back to going a bare minimum of twice a week. I need to use the gazelle multiple times a week. I need to stop eating second helpings of pasta at her parents house. I need to have one desert, not three. NO MORE TABLE CHOCOLATES (her parents house, which since Jess lives there, I am there religiously during the weekend, always has chocolates on the table in the living room, oh gods.) I need to go back to tracking my food and exercise, it was tedious, but it worked. I'm disappointed in myself for letting this happen and now I have to fix it, again.
Let me find my weight-loss zen again.