Saturday, December 29, 2012
I am reading Are You Ready by Bob Harper. The first chapter asks "Are you REALLY ready?" These are 10 questions to ask myself and help myself to be as ready for success as possible. This is new for me. I am fully aware of the nutritional value of protein and know how many step ups I can do in 3 minutes. But, I have never delved into the emotional world of why I am fat. I need this success. This is the last piece of the puzzle and it's time to dig in.
1. Is there any event that has happened in you life that makes you think you are ready to take charge and change your life? 2 years ago I was diagnosed with HBP. I did well on my diet and exercise and lowered my numbers to get off the medicine. Since then I have gained back and am back on meds. I feel so disgusted with myself right now. I think the other event is my Mother's illness. She has dementia and is getting worse more quickly now. I see her and see myself in a few years. It's so scary and taking charge of my health is a way to avoid or hold off the effects.
2. What are your fears if any about making such a big commitment to change? Definitely fear of failure. I have done it so many times and failed every time. After I write that though, I think that I have learned from every time. I have built on each attempt and I have been more successful and kept more weight off in the past 2 years than ever before. It took me several tries to quit smoking and I haven't had a cigarette in 28 years. I can do this too.
3. Are you ready to stop blaming others for your problems? I am. I was the youngest of 4 children and the only one that wasn't skinny. I wasn't fat by any means, but not skinny like my sisters. Mom always said I would look just like Great Aunt Della, and I do. Dad used to tease me about the little (tiny!) roll over the top of my jeans. Mom took me to WW at 14, I weighed 127 pounds. But I am an adult now and I choose what goes in my mouth and how my body moves. They are not here to feed me those negative thoughts.
4. Are you ready to take responsibility for your life? Yes! I am in charge of my own schedule. I can map out time for myself to exercise and meditate. I am in charge of my own menu. I can plan healthy meals.
5. Can you tell yourself what your goals are? Lower my blood pressure. Feel better physically. Feel stronger mentally and emotionally. Look better. Enjoy life.
6. Can you name three things that help you relax? Curling up with a book. Walking. Crafting.
7. Do you trust the process? Yes. It has worked before and can work again. The emotional process? Hmmm, that one is tougher. I'm working the process.
8. Do you trust yourself? This is a REALLY hard one. When I am alone is when I am at my worst for eating. That is when I binge. That is when all the negative creeps in. That is definitely the baggage I need to work on the most. I had an epiphany of sorts 1 1/2 years ago and realized how dishonest I was being with myself and others. I did so well after that but have been returning to bad habits. Not being dishonest with others, but with myself.
9. Can you suspend disbelief and trust in a Higher Power, God, yourself, or the Universe to help you through this period of change? I am ready to give myself to my faith to help me get through the tough times.
10. Do you want to treat your body with respect, learn to cherish it, and make it the vessel it was always meant to be? Yes!!! This really speaks to me and is one reason I am putting my trust in Bob's plan. I love these words.
I'm starting a new journey. This time it is through the recesses of my own soul to pull out the part of me that loves myself and is strong.