This is the year. I'm not nearly as far in my weightloss journey as I would like to be, but I didn't regain over Christmas, and that makes me happy. The picture above will be my desktop picture for the month of January. It contains a pretty wintery picture of a fairy and dragon on one side with my goals for January/2013 on the other.
The big goal, whether I lose weight or not, is our intention to TRY for a baby. And the more I think about it, about all the things we need to do to prepare, the more nervous and scared I get. There is still much to do before we go through IVF, and those baby steps are outlined in my goals for 2013.
1. Buy books for graduate classes
2. Keep up with homework
3. Organize bills and receipts
4. exercise 3 days strength/3 days cardio
5. Lose 6-10 pounds this month
6. Call Cigna about fertility coverage
1. Eat fewer carbs and sugars (aim 30-40% for carbs)
2. Exercise at least 5 days/week
3. Get fit and control PCOS symptoms (wacky periods)
4. Get tested for fertility problems (January)
5. Get fiance tested for fertility problems (March/April)
6. Find a good IVF clinic (close to home)
7. Get infertility diagnosis (fiance: must, myself: optional)
8. IVF treatment [between June and August]
And after all that...hopefully I'll get a BFP on our first try.
But are my goals S.M.A.R.T.?
For January...they all have a time limit for the end of January. I think they are all doable, without too many to weigh me down. 4 and 5 are measurable, by day and week. The others are either done, or not, a 2 step process. So for the most part...yes.
For 2013...I would say all but number 3 and 7 follow SMART guidelines. They are all, I feel, reasonable. And several lead up to others, so that would theoretically be measurable. Most have timelines. To "Get fit" for me is to be healthier, and hopefully with constant exercise, I'll be able to regulate my periods, finally. So that really ties in with goal 2. For goal 7. This depends on what happens with Cigna. If they will not cover the costs of IVF because that wasn't bought into, then we will try to obtain an IVF grant, which makes a diagnosis of infertility mandatory. That also would jump our goal for his testing from March/April to ASAP, so we can put in our applications for grant monies. Whether or not we get the grant monies, we will still go on with IVF treatments.
Why IVF over IUI?
I have PCOS, a mild form of infertility in females. Many try IUI and succeed. My fiance has a spinal cord injury and (we presume) low sperm motility. This makes IUI less likely to succeed for us and IVF more likely. IVF tends to have higher success rates anyway, and I'm in my 30s, he's in his 40s. If we are going to have a baby, we need to do something now.
Why am I scared?
1. For many people, all they need to do is babydance and boom! Babies all over the place. For us, that will never happen. I have never been on birth control. We have never used condoms. And it never really bothered us. Until now.
2. IVF is very expensive. Many clinics offer payment plans, and we can afford it, we have money saved up. I'm just afraid of completely ruining our emergency fund. And we did just buy a house.
3. I was a problem pregnancy with my mother. She had gestational diabetes (I'm already Insulin Resistant!), her feet swelled, she was put on bed rest and she started hemorraghing while pregnant, making it necessary to induce labor a full two months early. What if something like this happens to me?
4. I am also in graduate school. IVF is a time consuming (or so I hear) option. If we can't find a place close for us, I have no idea what will happen. I was thinking of taking the summer off (but that also means no income from me since I'm a graduate assistant).
On the plus side:
4. My boss is very understanding. I have briefly discussed these problems with her already in preparation that something might happen. She is fully willing to let me take off the time needed (or even put in my work from home!). Also, all of my classes are online. I can do them anywhere, anytime.
3. My mother never had morning sickness (although both my sisters have). So far every female medical problem I have has come from her side. Let's hope the positives come from her side too. Further, when she was pregnant with me she had a 2 yo and a 1 yo to take care of. Talk about stress! So she never went on bed rest like she was supposed to.
2. We have 40K in the bank. That will provide for several IVF treatments (and if we do 1 cycle and get a BFP then we stop there, that'd be awesome). He has great credit, so getting the payment plans should be easy (my credit is only "okay.") There are also several grants available, and his insurance may pay for some of it (crossing my fingers).
1. I have the most awesome supportive man in the world. When we decided we wanted a baby, he was a little afraid at first, but supports me in trying to get healthy before we try. He is even going so far as limiting his carb intake with me.
Am I scared? Yes. Does having the "upsides" help? Only a little. But, just because I'm scared, doesn't mean it won't happen. We are going through with it this year. Still there is much to do before we continue this part of the journey.
Love to you all, and wishing you the happiest of years to come.