Saturday, December 29, 2012
had to look at the bottom corner of the screen to see what day it was. lol. Sunny, cold and an okay 2 walks, she didnt listen well and I am still sore. Better than last night when I had a lot of pain in my back and my R knee, didnt sleep well at all fitbit says 88% and I do believe it for sure this time. Not tired now , just not rested. Oh well.
Wish hubby would feel better soon, he is coughing and no energy at all. He even said he has things he wants to get done, but even going out to stand the compost bin up after the wind knocked it over tired him out. I don't let allie go wake him before 9 :30 now figuring he needs his sleep but he is also getting into that not being tired and going to bed at 2;30 -3 which isn't good for him.
So have read 3 blogs on New years eve and by the last one I was sad, and nearly crying, man it all comes down to my birthday and how I so don't like it. I don't mind the attention, the happy birthdays etc. I think it is cos I allow it to be the END of the YEAR that I have failed myself yet again. Then I get into am I not worth it even to myself... then spirals from there. So read the last one and thought better blog this out or will be a blubbering mess.
I know I have done good for me things this year, I also have done good for others. I can't allow myself to only see that I didn't get to a goal especially when I don't set good goals.
I know I say I will lose or exercise, or eat well etc. but also know that I am like most, hard on myself.
Anyway....... same ole thing this year... putting myself down and not letting myself see or acknoweldge the good, the healthy, the being nice to me that I did do.
For now I hear dh coughing so he is awake. I am going to get the kettle on as I haven't had a cup of tea yet and we both will want one. I sometimes wish I could just go away all alone for a day/night in a small cabin with woodstove, me tea, journal, books and a good fire going with a warm bed. lol DD asked me what I wanted for my birthday, wouldn't they all be some surprised if I said that! I have never been away alone since I was married, other than to go to take the kids to my parents when hubby was away on course. I did take a day trip with girlfriends to anothers house about 18 years ago.
One of those retreats for women... oh yea, hubby actually said we could go to the one in ON sometime, drive and camp then I could go do that for the 3 days and he and dog would camp. Have to think about it.
HUGS and now to go have hot cup of tea on this sunny but cold cold wind day!