Saturday, December 29, 2012
For the last 3 days I have faithfully gotten onto my Wii and logged into my WiiFit and done 145 cals worth of workout. I really don't want to but I promised myself that I would lose 5 lbs by January. Considering that I've gained 15 in the past 6 or so doesn't make me feel really good. As a matter of fact, I cried. I went into the shower and cried. I can't seem to get ahold of anything. Just when it feels like I'm going on the right track something mucks up. My son (now 4) pushes and pushes. I'm so tired of the endless struggle. I'm tired of feeling like I can't get my head around everything and just get it done. I wish I had just those few things that would help out so much. A food scale, new workout clothes that aren't so old they don't support any more, help with my son. When I write them down it seems so easy. Of course you can do that, have that, be that but it's not. I start school on the 22nd. My second semester back and I'm terrified. I'm terrified I'm going to screw it up and my son will grow up knowing his mother can't stick. That I'm useless and not worth the effort. According to the Wii I'm down 2 lbs though it warns that a body's weight can fluctuate 2lbs in a day. I'm 251 pounds. I keep telling myself that I'm strong, I'm smart, and I CAN. I guess today its just not working for me.