Friday, December 28, 2012
Got in another great workout tonight. And man did I feel better after that! lol
Work was awful again today. Told my main boss that I was job hunting. I hated to do it but my stomach is upset at the thought of going to work and I get headaches just being there. My immediate boss really needs to retire and she is making my job so much more difficult by refusing to do so. She's like 74, getting forgetful, but is still a control freak so I'm suppose to clear all my phone calls, and decisions through her. If a customer is chewing me out she doesn't come to help me or deal with it..even though she is my boss and paid more than I am..I'm taking on more and more of her work..she uses the excuse "she's training me for when she retires" but she's been saying that for 10 years! She can't stand change..feel there is no need for it..won't let us accept plastic for payment from customers..still balances cash on paper cause "computer can't do it right", doesn't feel there is every a need to spend money to replace broken stuff, etc...
Anyway I could go on and on about what makes me unhappy..when what I really want to do is express my feelings about the talk with my boss and the idea of finding a new job.
I'm glad I talked to boss about it, even though I know it upset him. I feel good that I was able to tell him my feelings and it made me feel good to know that he wants me to stay. I'm not sure anything can be done about the problem (as talking to her about stuff tends to make her resentful and she takes it out on me when we are alone) but at least he knows how I feel and I know he wants me there and wants me to take her job when/if she retires.
The thought of a new job scares me so much! And like I told him I'm not sure I'll accept another job, I won't take just the first one that comes along..it will have to meet certain requirements. I've been where I'm at long enough that while I don't make a lot of money I'm doing okay so not sure I can find another job that matches that..plus more of the jobs will include driving so gas money. Plus some of the benefits where I'm at are really good. So logically it doesn't make sense for me to leave but at the same time I am so stressed and unhappy there that it's not good for me. I'm working on controlling my stress/unhappy eating but dealing with her everyday just makes it more difficult. If I knew there was an end in sight it would be a different story but she has promised for 10 years to retire soon and obviously nothing happens. Her attitude has gotten very negative so it's bitching all day long and it wears on me and I find myself doing it to..I don't like the person I am around her. It's easy to say just don't be that but I'm around her for 40 hours a week and it wears on me.
I have spent quite a bit of time in therapy discussing my job and that's just ridiculous! Especially when she is the main reason we discuss it! yes customers upset me and yes I get tired of dealing with them but she is main problem.. sigh....
So I'm trying to put together a resume. OMG! Resumes have changed so much in 15 years! lol I'm totally lost..so putting out an sos to my 25 year old sister..hehe Younger sisters should be good for that sort of stuff right?!
I do worry that if I get to interview stage that my weight will be held against me but not much I can do about it I guess. I'm trying to lose but all I can do it tell them how great I could do that job and hope my history shows them.
Oh boss and I did discuss things I want to change if she leaves and we are on the same page on so much stuff!! The office could be so great to work in!!
Son is waiting on me to cut his hair so guess I need to get off of here..haven't even proofread this so sorry for any errors..and while I'm sure I've written a book I feel like I could go on even more about this stuff.
So guess I need to do some praying and some working on my resume.
(didn't realize I used the word "so" so much..hehe)