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    RACHELSTEBBINS   204
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Eating, eating, eating....

Friday, December 28, 2012

Loading day today.

Loading is harder than you think that its going to be. When you first learn about it you think...all that i can eat of anything i want? Yes please! But after a day of chips and dip, McDonalds, whipped cream, cheese and chocolate, I have never felt worse. Even my neanderthal of a co-worker noticed that I wasn't feeling or looking well today. So it must be really bad.

For the record, I have a headache, gas, stomach cramps, muscle aches and I think that I might actually smell like grease. Its totally gross. I have to do it for one more day, then I get to quit eating almost all together.

Also for the record, I don't eat like this in my real life. I am almost 100 pounds overweight and i really don't eat things that are all that bad for me. I never have chips and dip, don't care for chocolate really and cook low fat. I over eat healthy foods. That's my issue. So today has been a really shift in my diet.

I know that there is some kind of hokey science behind the loading, but honestly I think it might be a little like the " kid caught smoking has to sit in a closet and smoke a whole pack" therapy. If i can hold on to even a little memory of how bad I fell today, I will be able to get over the next 39 days.

As far as as the next 39 days go, I have to keep reminding myself that IT IS ONLY 39 DAYS! I can do anything with 39 days. I have to use the next 39 says to my best advantage. I have to teach myself how to eat only when hungry. To stop eating when Full. To use food as fuel, not as comfort or an activity. I am nervous about being bored.

As a single parent, I am home a lot in the evening, by myself. My son goes to bed at 8:30, and after that i am on my own. I am going to have to find a hobby, or a good book, or a new tv show to love, so that I can distract myself from wanting to munch. I have tried knitting, crafting, scrapbooking, but none have done it for me. I better come up eth something fast though. the eating stops tomorrow.

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PJ2222 12/28/2012 9:14PM

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