Friday, December 28, 2012
Almost 2 years ago we lost my mom-in-law unexpectedly. This was such a hard thing for us to go through and I seemed to be effected more than anyone else in my family. My "mom' was the only person who truly supported us in all that we did and she was the only Jesus follower in our extended family which made our loss extremely difficult. I shut down for months afterwards dwelling on my loss and missing her so much. The months of my grief ran into summer vacation and the kids being home which is always a struggle for me as far as eating right and exercising. Surprisingly that first summer following my mom's death lined up with me leading cycling classes at the gym I have worked at for 11 years now. I was in the babysitting room for the first 9 yrs and had ventured out of my comfort zone with the pursuit of teaching cycling, the one thing I didn't have to be overly coordinated to teach. I had thought about not pursuing this activity once my mom died and it was truly the grief talking. I'm so glad I didn't give up! Back to the summer...my interest in indoor cycling carried over into outdoor cycling - an activity my husband has enjoyed since I've known him. He was thrilled with my interest and we took out on our bikes all summer long, logging 2400 miles! This was the first summer I hadn't gained weight as far back as I can remember. :) I stayed at my plateau for quite some time and then bit by bit, I let life and the busyness of it interfere with what I knew was right. I stopped tracking my daily calories. I stopped working out daily. And bit by bit the weight crept back on. I'm up 20 lbs and once again determined to get back on track. I've had many ups and downs, letting my emotions get the better of me. I know that I reach for food for comfort so that is always front and center in my mid when things get tough. I have the convenience of workout equipment at home as well as a free gym membership. I'm out of excuses and ready to rededicate my life to healthy eating and exercising. Today I accomplished 50 sit ups and 60 minutes on the elliptical. Praying I can find the drive that I once had and get back into my size "6" clothes. It's time to start treating my body right and setting a good example for my family and friends. Food has such a hold on me but I'm confident that I can do this! And do it right this time! I'll be borrowing my neighbor doggie as often as possible for walks when the weather is nice. I also have plans to bike on the trail near my house whenever the weather permits. I'm writing this now as a reminder to myself of what I need to do and what I know I can do! I'm also going to rejoin a few groups in an attempt to find support and accountability. Thank you to all who have shared recipes with me! I've realized I can't say "it's a special occasion" or "just this once" because those times come way too often. I have to live my life the same each and every day w/ no exceptions which sounds harsh but I know me and I know that I need a routine or I get all out of whack! Best of wishes to all of you!