Friday, December 28, 2012
I'm really not feeling that bad, but I decided to hedge my bets when I woke up with a headache and scratchy sore throat, especially since I have been on the edge of it all week. I don't get headaches or sick very often, so this is a sign for me to slow down.
I am really not very surprised since I haven't really had much of a chance, or let myself, slow down since I went back to Texas from leave. From my return, everything was pretty much geared to packing and coming home. Every weekend since I have been home, I have pretty much been feverishly cleaning and unpacking. The house, is still a mess, but is starting to gain some semblance of order. It was so nice to live alone for a year and know where all my stuff was... and to know that it was right where I left it. I established good habits like doing dishes, making the bed, putting stuff away... and it was very nice. So, coming back to chaos and having to live with 5 other people (one being a baby) has been very difficult.
I have, at least, carved out a bit of a sanctuary of order in the bedroom. We just have a under the bed and behind my nightstand to be done. So I at least have a quiet place to escape to.
My exercise time is becoming a lifeline too. I can just go jump on the treadmill and sink into the music and the movement of my body. It's pure, sometimes I think, sometimes I zone out and just watch the miles tick up. I wish the incline was working, but right now I'm fine just going. The part should arrive next week and then we can call the repair guy to put in the new circuit board.
I almost feel like in my coming home, I am continuing the process I started in 2008. I lost the weight, a bit of which has crept back, but now I want to shed other unnecessary extras in my life and get back to basics. I live a lot more "basic" in 2012 down in Texas and I liked it ... A LOT! I have already Freecycled a bunch of things... and I need to get some more done. I cleared out 7 bags of clothes and shoes that I'd not seen, needed or worn in a year... and I feel so much lighter.
In the year I was gone, I also had to rely on myself almost entirely for things to get done. I like that feeling. I have never liked depending on anyone (except for my hubby when I am really sick, ie puking my guts out).... and now I loathe it.
So my goals for 2013 are beginning to take shape. I plan to lose those few pounds that have crept on, get myself ready to go back to school... if not go back, get rid of the crap I just don't need, make more plans for the long term...
The Army will be sending me off for 3 weeks in the summer and I will be taking over as XO (executive officer) of my unit... and that is a huge challenge and honor... basically becoming 2nd in command of my unit. So a lot to learn, prolly mostly by the seat of my pants... but I learn the best that way.
So another goal for 2013 is continuing to figure out discerning what I NEED v. what I want. And full of new lessons, I am sure.