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A bla day!

Friday, December 28, 2012

I admit that I am totally run by emotion. The reason I have weight to lose really is because I am emotionally unstable. I am up and down like a yo yo and I haven't even hit menopause yet. LOL. It's PMS, not pms, my husband's moods, etc. etc. What gets me down is my husband's moods. Some days he's picky and he swears a lot. He says its not directed at me but he is still saying it in front of me and he uses the bad language to express his frustration toward a situation. He has done this the whole time we've been married (22 years) and even when he was active in the truth. I hate this language with my whole being and it's really hard for me to not let it affect me. My point is that unless I can control my emotion I will never be stable with my weight and therefore never be happy.
I am not sure why I am even wasting my time on this computer tracking my calories and fitness when really all I really need is a big happy pill or magic pill to make me feel happy all the time so that I am motivated. I'll even admit to my badness that on some days I track my exercise (which I am proud to say has been overall really good) and my calories but at the end of the day after being so good I end up blowing it and not caring. I am not blowing it in large ways but for example last night I just had to have a bowl of frozen raspberries with some light cream on it. Well, that put me over on my calories. That's why I wonder if I am wasting my time because I am not getting anywhere going over on my calories.
Anyway, I am just ranting now...... Isn't there a song called sometimes its hard to be a woman?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Nice to meet you. I'm Caddy.

    You have reached a good point in your life, just because you have the mental strength to be quiet in response to these things. I just read an article last night in the Watchtower (5/15/09 pg 3) about "A Time For Silence". I have a need for this in my life with coworkers and customers.

    Keep this matter in your prayers to Jehovah, and he will be able to help you.

    1901 days ago
    I appreciate these comments. I seem to need a lot of support. I often wonder if I have depression and should take medication. Linda, it's so true that trying is better than totally going off the deep end and gaining heaven knows how much weight. If I weren't watching I'd be worse off. And yes I feel good and am proud of myself that even if my diet isn't perfect I have to celebrate my successes, like getting regular with exercise. Each day I just start again whether it ends up being a good or bad day I always start over. And today I feel so good because yesterday, even if it was only one day, I had a really good day! I worked hard at my fitness and noticed that my fitness level has gone up. I am stronger and have more endurance. I also stayed within my calorie range and didn't feel deprived. What really helped was that during the day I only ate around 500-600 calories and for dinner I was able to fill my face with my homemade pizza and have a glass of wine for relaxation without going over my calorie range. I forget about wine but it sure takes the stress out at times. LOL.
    Also, regarding my DH I pray with my boys every day for him. He often gets mad because I express my frustration at a situation (and always in a christian way as I never swear) and so I have to keep my lips sealed and just walk away. Yesterday was a prime example. We invited a friend over to go sledding and they were waiting outside in their van for 15 minutes while I was inside the house panicking because my keys were gone. I phoned my DH and found out that he moved the car and pocketed my keys and he was long gone to work. I ended up finding a spare but couldn't lock the house to go out. He just said he was sorry on the phone and although I was totally frazzled and frustrated I just said nothing. In turn, he didn't swear at me and hang up on me. So did I learn something? I hope so.

    So all in all I am going to apply the suggestions all three of you gave me because it worked. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
    1904 days ago
    Think where you'd be if you weren't here with us? Sorry you are coping with an unpleasant situation...my dh has suffered from depression for 33 yrs. It manifests itself in different ways for different people, but it also affects all the people around that one. I know from experience. Each of us make choices...and we do the best we can. Sometimes that works out better than others. Don't give up...just turn the page and know a new day is on the way. emoticon
    1904 days ago
    You are here with the rest of us because this site helps in many ways. Support, listening ears ....... We all need to vent at times and just because you went over, you can make adjustments for today. When you figure what you are going to eat something or want to, make some switches so you can stay in. Make sure you ADD those delicious treats to a daily snack. Doesn't mean you will always eat it, but you have the leeway.
    1905 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1905 days ago
    You sound quite normal to me! We live in day called "critical times hard to deal with". And we are not immune to any of the stresses of life. Especially when much of that stress is in our own home. I did read somewhere that people making an effort to lose weight, whether successful or not, are still healthier than those not trying. We can't give more than our best. So pat yourself on the back for the good things.....like exercise! Remember this is a journey, not a sprint! And we all will trip up now and then....just get up, dust off and go again. I am here cheering you on!
    1905 days ago
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