Friday, December 28, 2012
I admit that I am totally run by emotion. The reason I have weight to lose really is because I am emotionally unstable. I am up and down like a yo yo and I haven't even hit menopause yet. LOL. It's PMS, not pms, my husband's moods, etc. etc. What gets me down is my husband's moods. Some days he's picky and he swears a lot. He says its not directed at me but he is still saying it in front of me and he uses the bad language to express his frustration toward a situation. He has done this the whole time we've been married (22 years) and even when he was active in the truth. I hate this language with my whole being and it's really hard for me to not let it affect me. My point is that unless I can control my emotion I will never be stable with my weight and therefore never be happy.
I am not sure why I am even wasting my time on this computer tracking my calories and fitness when really all I really need is a big happy pill or magic pill to make me feel happy all the time so that I am motivated. I'll even admit to my badness that on some days I track my exercise (which I am proud to say has been overall really good) and my calories but at the end of the day after being so good I end up blowing it and not caring. I am not blowing it in large ways but for example last night I just had to have a bowl of frozen raspberries with some light cream on it. Well, that put me over on my calories. That's why I wonder if I am wasting my time because I am not getting anywhere going over on my calories.
Anyway, I am just ranting now...... Isn't there a song called sometimes its hard to be a woman?