Friday, December 28, 2012
Well that sucked… That could describe a lot of things in the past week. Well two weeks. I just checked. My last blog was on the 17th…
The #1 thing that sucked a$$ is my surgery recovery. I had my left arm near my elbow redone, about six inches or so of it – to remove a fat pad/loose skin near my elbow, and a revision on my right armpit area where a piece of skin stuck out like a triangle from the end of the scar.
Well the left arm is fine. It still hurts a little, but that’s to be expected. I had the surgery on the 11th, so I’m only 2.5 weeks post surgery. That side’s scar is also healing really well. No problems. The other side is a completely different story.
So what I didn’t realize when I was getting this done is that they would have to completely remove the first armpit scar and give me a new one to fix one tiny end of the scar. Apparently scar tissue is too hard to stitch and isn’t very strong, so doctors opt to remove all of the old scar tissue to pull together skin. I still have a little elasticity there since I had plenty of extra arm skin – so that wasn’t a problem.
I begged to get my stitches out the Friday before Christmas. The armpit stitches were the worst. They itched, they hurt, they were red and irritated and uncomfortable… I hated them. For some reason it felt like they were worse this time around. I either was on a lot of drugs four months ago and don’t remember – or I was in so much pain everywhere I didn’t notice.
This time around though, I guess I did too much… My doctor agreed to take out my stitches, but told me to take it easy. Now I’m warning you – the next bit will be a bit gross – so don’t read it if you’re eating or this stuff freaks you out.
When the nurse took out the stitches, the wound opened up a little. She even said, “Hmm, I wonder if he should look at this…” but never got the doctor. So she sent me home and told me to be careful and to watch for ooze and the color of the stuff on the bandages.
Friday night it didn’t look too bad. I put bandages over it and started my baking spree and packed the car to drive home for Christmas. Saturday morning there was some yellow ooze… and my wound hurt, and it was a little more open, but I didn’t think anything of it.
Saturday night it had really started to hurt, and I complained enough that my doctor sister (who I don’t really get along with) offered to look at it. Apparently sometime on Saturday my incision wound opened up. Like kinda ripped itself open. So I wasn’t just complaining about pain… it actually was a problem.
So then my sister explained I needed wet to dry bandages to rip out the dead tissue that was there… its exactly as excruciatingly painful as it sounds. Probably more so – because it was effing horrible. And I had to do that several times. It was so bad I put my arm in a sling so I wouldn’t move it or bump it as much. *gross warning… everytime we pulled it off I started gushing blood for the first few times.
According to my sister this was good because healing, blah, blah, blah… what also happened, is that my incision continued to rip until the whole thing was open. Its about four inches long and is about 2.5-3” apart in the middle. Its open – nasty – and painful as all get out.
Add into this the fact that I need to keep it covered in a bandaid/gauze/cover in my armpit. The armpit moves a lot. Plus I’m allergic to adhesives. Bandage adhesive, bandage tape, surgical tape, all of it. I’ve been making due, but my skin just looks awful. I have a lot of reaction rashes around my wound from the bandages I have been using. For the first few days I had a t-shirt wrapped around my neck and my armpit to try to keep the bandages in place. So I had to sleep with what felt like a noose around my neck, trying not to lay on my injured wound side. *Horrible.
So we had a huge party on the 23rd at my parents house. I had a sling on – everyone kept asking me what was wrong… so I had to go through the story like 20 times, I kid you not. Plus TJ came over, so he met my family – and a million other people – and it was super stressful.
Christmas Eve and Day were both stressful with my family. Its just a lot to deal with. I got out of some stuff because of my wound and not being able to move without really hurting myself. It definitely threw a wrench in my Christmas plans.
My doctor sister said it was looking better -- and she went home. I ended up having to drive 2 hours to go see my plastic surgeon, waited over an hour for my appt because he was in surgery late, only to have him tell me it will close on its own given enough time. No time frame… no real estimates for when its going to stop hurting so badly… but lot of bandage material…
Then I had to drive 2 hours back to my parents. I have a lot of stuff going on in StL these next few days, so there was no point in staying in Columbia.
So that’s it – I got a little more Percocet for the pain, and was told to let it go. He doesn’t know why this happened, what went wrong, it was just a fluke. Just a very painful, fluke. My doctor sister said he took the stitches out too early, and she would have just left them in for another week, no matter how painful it was to me – what’s happening now is way more painful.
So that’s that. I haven’t been typing obviously because I haven’t wanted to move my arm. I’m barely moving it now + 2 percocet is how I’m blogging today.
And with the holidays and being in a lot of pain, I haven’t been counting calories. I haven’t been exercising, but I know the important part now is to heal, then I can refocus on everything. I honest to god am trying not to move so it doesn’t hurt so bad – but its me, so I’m trying to help cook and clean and not just be in the way.
My mom’s anxiety/depression/agoraphobia is kicking in hardcore since she had people in the house on the 23/24/25… She can’t handle that much stress. Plus my dad is trying to do major home renovations at the same time – driving me and her both nuts. And the house is all torn up from the parties and the serious home renovations that they did the week before the party… Its just a lot. A lot of emotions. I’ve been avoiding it as much as I can by separating myself from the situation and going to go see TJ and stay out of the momma drama… but I haven’t gotten off scott free. She’s been guilt tripping me and I just can’t handle it.
So the plan for today = shower ;-) + get myself all dressed up + do some shopping (I need another strapless bra since one isn’t going to cut it and shoulder straps suck) + meet TJ’s parents for dinner… So lots to do and its already lunch.
I hope everyone had a good holidays. With New Year’s coming up – I know this is a time we all struggle to not get wasted and eat too much, regret it, and promise to do better next year. I quit making New Years resolutions years ago. Why let a date on a calendar tell you when to start making changes. When you decide = that’s when you should start. Don’t wait. I’m going to try to keep making smarter decisions and not let myself go nuts. Hopefully 2013 will get me to my goal weight, but if it doesn’t, I’ll just keep working at it. I’ll get there eventually, and you all will to, if we just stick to it.
I’m going nuts not working out right now, so once this sucker heals, I’m getting back in the game.