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    FLORIDASUN   45,706
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Stress & emotional eating...glad to meet you?


Friday, December 28, 2012

emoticon no one needed to tell me that I'm an emotional eater. This Christmas trip that I'm on in our home state of Iowa has totally reinforced that! I've done nothing but think about our favorite restaurants and my favorite comfort food the whole time I've been here!

Luckily the friends we are staying with are only here for a short time visiting family for the holidays and then they go back to Florida for the rest of winter before returning...so they really have no food in the house. Not that they do when we visit them in the summer months either. This couple's frig is stocked with their one and only food staple...beer???

Not that we are complaining in the least their home is totally lovely and although it is mostly self serve...I had to hunt up pillows and a blanket and I brought our own hangers...yep..deb is a little obsessive, compulsive and throws out any extra hangers..so there are none in the closet for guests.

It makes me laugh over how totally different our hostess ing techniques truly are... at different ends of the spectrum for sure for sure!!!

We stay downstairs so it's like we have an entire suite of privacy and we do our best to be non-intrusive and just go with the flow. I'll scrub down the shower when we leave and strip the sheets from our bed and wash up our towels...good little house guests that we try to be.

I've come to the conclusion that Deb is a private person and it might be hard for her to interact with people outside of her family so I'm ever grateful for her hospitality. Her new husband is my hubs closest and longest enduring friend all through high school, college and the fire department.

Today will be a MIL free zone. I've picked up a little cold and her immune system is down so Don's sister made it VERY clear to him that I'm not welcome with a cold. I can understand that, and I'll have a day to myself to get some great steps in at the mall and I'll hang at my favorite store Barnes N Noble. Love that store!

Ther will be yet another huge stressor today..I've decided to try and make contact with my 43 year old daughter from my first marriage. This will be a big challenge as I had pretty much decided that she was no longer a part of my life due to the massive challenges we've faced about her ongoing drug addiction. She has put DH'S and I through the wringer over the years and to be perfectly honest the last time I was with her about 5 years ago I really didn't feel safe. I. Praying she is finally ready to get clean and live her life to the best of her ability. My challenge will be standing strong when she approaches me to come back to Florida as she always does. I cannot take on the care and feeding of a 43 year old that has thrown her life to the gutter. I told her over the many, many years and the thousands and thousands of $$$$ we spent trying to get her clean...after a decade..."Brandy you have two choices here..you have drugs that will rip your life AND our life apart...or you have your family who loves you but won't let you continue to lie, cheat, and steal from us. Unfortunately in the past the drugs always won...it does ultimately come down to the law of your own self preservation doesn't it?

plus I always have the nagging agony that it was she that turned her younger (by 13 years) brother onto drugs when I had literally begged him to NEVER touch them after witnessing the pure hell his half sister had put herself and our family through...just another sad wound that I'm hoping to resolve on this trip back Ho e. it's all so sobering...no wonder all I want to do is eat!

Fingers and toes crossed that today goes well. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
2ABBYNORMAL 12/30/2012 12:49AM

    I don't think I could be as brave as you in reconnecting with your daughter. I had 2 brothers addicted to drugs and it is crushing for everyone.
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BEAUTY_WITHIN 12/29/2012 11:37PM

    *Hugs* sounds like things are tough right now. But people can change. They just have to be ready to. I hope your daughter and you can mend some bridges.

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CATHYGETSFIT 12/29/2012 7:49PM

    Some people just aren't very good hosts even though they may want to be. Beer is good though! It contains grains, hops and water! LOL

Glad you got some time to yourself today and some time away from your lovely in-laws! ;-)

I hope all went well with your visit with your daughter. It sounds like you have a good plan! I know it's hard to not blame yourself or to not want to do more to help her. You can only do so much though before she has to take responsibility for her own actions. I really hope that seeing your daughter turned out to be a positive thing!

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MKACILLAS 12/29/2012 6:17PM

    Glad you got a reprieve and could do your own thing. Good luck with your daughter Brandy. You will do what you have to do to protect yourself . You are a wonderful person Bobbie with such a big Heart. Sending positive energy your way for a good outcome. emoticon emoticon

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DS9KIE 12/29/2012 1:57AM

    good luck with your daughter.

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DAVIDPRESCOTT 12/29/2012 1:11AM

    How strange that I just finished a blog about addictions and you have just blogged (in part ) about your daughter.

I have a friend whose son is massively, cripplingly bipolar and yes I know its not addiction but his swings are huge and he often has to be detained (as in tied down in a soft room) and hospitalized and at 35 he was still not stable. Ranting , burning furniture, telling hjis Mom ( my friend) that she was a f*cking wh*re for having him, urinating on her car...he even soaked his Mom's house in gasoline last Christmas and rang her in London (she was vacation) to say he was going to torch the place if he did not tell him she loved him.

Thanks to some greater power 12 months later and its almost miraculous - he is stable, loving, working and back to his amazing caring loving self after 17 years of awful bipolar distress. Because he finally found the right doctor who had the guts to stick up for him and go the extra mile. And find the right treatment for him.

I can feel your pain when you mention your daughter. But its not your fault. It is NOT your fault. We are adults and choose our own path.

Crazy people do crazy things. And addictions are lifelong, horrible, soul destroying things that we often have no control over.

Being overwieght is a food addiction. Why can't we be slim and healthy. There is nothing in our way, no sane reason to eat junk, no reason not to exercise and yet....we choose not to.

I so dearly hope your daughter has found some peace and I pray she can find the right doctor or therapist to get her on her way to recovery. I really do - more for you sake then hers.

A long rambling "comment" but you shared an awful lot :)

xo

D

P.S. Please let me know how your meeting went. This reminds me so much of my friend and her son....I would like to know the outcome.

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KSNANA2 12/28/2012 10:28PM

    Sending you hugs to get through it all. I think you are one strong lady! I do hope your daughter has cleaned up her life. Hope it goes well.

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GOING-STRONG 12/28/2012 10:01PM

    Sending positive vibes your way... either way.. it sounds like an emotional wringer that is for sure.

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KATRINAKAT23 12/28/2012 3:20PM

  Wishing all goes well with you and your daughter.

I hope your cold goes away soon too . emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 12/28/2012 2:46PM

    HUGS

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MPARKER67 12/28/2012 1:20PM

    Hope all goes well with Brandy. Also, glad you came to your senses about snow emoticon

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LMB-ESQ 12/28/2012 12:13PM

    Good luck with your daughter's visit. Sounds like you have the right plan and you're ready to deal with whatever she does. I'm sorry she's chosen to throw her life away... but glad you are no longer tearing yourself apart over it.

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MS.ELENI 12/28/2012 11:35AM

    You will be on my mind today all day. I hope things go well with Brandy. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 12/28/2012 11:11AM

    First, what a handy time to get a cold! It allows you to have a guilt-free way of not having to deal with the in-laws today....at least not face-to-face.

I hope things go well with your daughter today. That's a tough situation.I'll be thinking of you throughout the day and sending positive thoughts your way.

Hugs,
Kay

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GARDENCHRIS 12/28/2012 10:47AM

    I hope and pray that your visit goes well...

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BARBARAROSE54 12/28/2012 10:32AM

    emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 12/28/2012 10:02AM

    She may not want you in her life now that you're ready to reconnect. But you know this as personalities are pretty consistent. But
I admire you for trying. Good luck, Bobbi.

And here's to a great 2013!

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HOBOCHICK1 12/28/2012 9:46AM

    Praying all goes well for you today...

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JOHNMARTINMILES 12/28/2012 9:43AM

    Beer is good! It contains grains and water! Both of those are good for you! LOL

Make Today a Great Day!

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