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    JAZRAD   6,086
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5,500-6,999 SparkPoints
 
 
New Year...New Opportunity?

Friday, December 28, 2012

I debated adding that question mark at the end of the blog title because I wanted to sound confident as I wrote this...but the truth is I am not confident. I have been on and off of Spark People. I have been successful and unsuccessful.

I know that I want badly to be healthy and thin. I have not actually done much to attain it. In fact, I have not adjusted my schedule much since I returned to work full time after being a full time mom. And I am the queen of the excuses. I always have one and it is usually very logical and believable.

Except that I don't believe them anymore.

I want to work toward this goal...now. I want to achieve my dream of being healthy...while my children are still young and I can play with them. I want to model for them what healthy eating and a balanced life looks like. I want to be confident in who God has made me to be and I do not want food to win. I do not want to be gluttonous anymore.

I have discovered that I eat to keep busy when I am bored or being social. I eat when I am sad, frustrated or lonely. Whenever we go out, I think about where to eat and when I wake up in the morning, I start planning meals for my family and myself. I don't need to eat or think this way, right? Food is not that important! Especially because after I indulge, I feel so guilty and so disgusted with myself.

So as 2013 approaches in just a few short days, I am praying for Godly wisdom in making a lifestyle change--Not something temporary that is unsustainable. I have to pray for balance in the midst of this struggle because I still want to be a mommy to three, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an employee, an active church member, a friend, and I want be to me to me. As a community, I seek your encouragement, your prayers and your assistance in keeping me accountable.

First step, daily checking into SP and logging food.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUE42DOWN 12/28/2012 2:50AM

    It may be a emoticon and the answer is that emoticon as long as you never completely quit trying.

One little thing I will say, something that we usually ~know~ but don't always think with:

Lifestyle isn't just a politically correct way of saying "diet and exercise". When you're planning changes and new habits, pull out that list of roles ("mommy to three, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an employee, an active church member, a friend") and ask whether you see that change fitting in with all those pieces of your life. If it won't, perhaps look around for a different way to accomplish the same general goal that will fit and be a natural part of your healthy life.

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MSBEKANATOR 12/28/2012 2:28AM

    You can do this! emoticon

I will be praying for you, that God will give you the wisdom you need to balance your roles, and the strength you need for each day. Isn't it wonderful that He is with us each step of the way!

It is awesome that you are starting with small steps, when you add them all together it will make a BIG difference! I remember when I first started logging my food, it was kind of a shocker to see how poor my nutritional choices were, and how many calories I was really consuming. Just knowing I was going to write it down made a tremendous difference in what I would choose to eat, lol.

Cheering for you! You can do it!

~Becky

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NEWGIRL122 12/28/2012 2:27AM

  Dear Jazrad,

I just want you to know that 1) you are a fabulous writer and 2) someone is actually reading what you write. When I posted my first blog, I felt like it went into a vacuum and the community support I hoped for didn't seem to be there. Don't give up. Keep writing. People will gradually find you.

I've been thin and heavy in my life. Motherhood is hard but wonderful. Your kids mostly want you to be happy. They will truly see you as beautiful no matter how much you weigh. Be healthy for you! You are worth it. So are they, but they'll love you no matter what.

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