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    JAXMOMMY   154,145
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What Else?! Help!


Thursday, December 27, 2012

Well, it is not all that bad, but bad enough. No one else died Thank God, but my freezer quit which means the fridge quit too. I had to rescue my mom's last batch of pierogis and put them in the big freezer, but all of our other food, ice cream (not mine), frozen veggies, lean meats, you name it.... Ruined! The fridge just quit. Just quit. Damn!

Jack is also acting very weird. Very nervous, very clingy. He has spent most of the evening and night so far outside. Very unlike him. Every move I make he follows me which is unusual since Anthony is home. Jack only wants me when he is distressed and he can't talk to tell me what is wrong.

Then, I started thinking crazy thoughts that maybe my mom was here and scaring him. But, why would she do that? Then I sort of wanted her here. Then I changed my mind again. That would just be too much for me to handle.

A broken refrigerator? Just what I need. I was contemplating on quitting my job and just collecting disability. I have a hectic schedule for the spring semester and I am really not sure I can handle it. I am beyond stressed with the loss of my mother. It is trying to be that last straw. I can't quit my job now. I need to buy a new freaking refrigerator! Damn!

My dad's birthday is tomorrow too. How do I do this? How do I keep going? I'm really, really not sure I want to be strong any more! Damn!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEDDYBEAR662 1/2/2013 2:09PM

    Melissa, I'm late reading this... sorry! Hope your dad did okay for his birthday! I hope you all were together! As for Jack, maybe he feels your sadness and doesn't know what to do. I hope he is okay and better now! Love you... wish I could make it all better for you! (hugs)

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TANYA602 12/29/2012 6:14PM

    Hi hon,
you are not alone in this. Take each day one step at a time and you WILL overcome these obstacles in your path. I'm sorry to hear that the financial end of it is keeping you from taking some time off work. Some time to heal is what you need, so take a back seat and let other help and take the reins for awhile. I send hugs and hope.

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LESSOFMOORE 12/28/2012 8:43PM

    MELISSA, YOU HAVE SHOWN THAT YOU CAN PRIORITIZE BY SAVING YOUR MOM'S PIEROGIS. AS FOR YOUR DAD, CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY HOWEVER HE FEELS UP TO, IT'S HIS DAY. WHEN IT COMES TO THE JOB, YOU AND ANTHONY NEED TO DO WHAT SEEMS FINANCIALLY FEASIBLE. LIKE LORI, I WISH I COULD BE THERE FOR YOU. MEANWHILE, I'M DOING THE ONLY THING I CAN, WHICH IS TO CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR YOU.

HUGS,
CYNDIE

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LITTLEWIND53 12/28/2012 2:59PM

    Melissa, how are your sugars doing? Sometimes when life seems to gang up on us, our sugars go off the charts. Bless Jack for bing so concerned for you..... (and if your sugars are high Jack may be sensing that as well.....)

Take care and know that you have many friends here who are here for you, whatever you need....

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JOANNKW 12/28/2012 1:10PM

    (((Melissa))) Still praying. It is uncanny how these things happen at the worst possible time.

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BESCATS 12/28/2012 11:25AM

    You will get through this. Sometimes good people are tested, and you WILL pass that test.
Kitty is right BREATHE !! Jack is feeling your anxiety because is your soulmate.
I thought it was bad when my microwave died, but feel fortunate after reading your blog.
Bless you dear lady, things will work out. We are all here for you.

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LENNIEMIKE 12/28/2012 8:07AM

    Melissa -- As a professional, you know that life "gangs up" on people until they think they will "break". God won't let that happen, however, and you will "get to the other side" stronger than ever. So sorry about your "losses" -- can really relate to the refrigerator situation as we wait for a new one to be delivered today (at least it didn't just conk out, but that has happened to us before during a holiday). Take a break and do only those things that are absolutely necessary -- time with Jack and your hubby and friends/family. Nothing is more important than getting things "back in order" and restoring some mental peace. Jobs can be a source of extreme stress, but also a place to show excellence and competence that being home can't provide. Above all else, know that people are praying for you and caring that you are okay! Jack is probably trying to help you cope and is getting frustrated because he can't do it -- you know that people give off "vibes" when distressed that animals can sense. Focus on your father and let him know that his birthday is important and special -- from your many posts, it sounds like he was a good provider and a great spouse. Grief is necessary, but we have to celebrate life, too. Share how things are going -- we do want to know! emoticon

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CAPECODBABE 12/28/2012 7:40AM

    Oh, Melissa, I'm so sorry you feel this way.

You are one of the strongest people I know.
I usually get tired just reading about everything you do.

My advice would be take some time and really think about quitting your job. If you think you need to, go for it. Would you miss the rewards and people? It takes a long time to get your emotions in order after a parents death.

Maybe your dog is reacting to your feelings?
I think pets know more that we realize.

Sorry about your fridge. Was it old?
Appliances always seem to go at the most inopportune times.

A New Year is right around the corner. Let's hope for a happy one.

xoxo



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ANDY_54 12/28/2012 6:11AM

    One thing at a time--parcel out the big things. I hear your emotion coming across loud and clear. So sorry about your mom--if it was very recent (or not) you might still be grieving and it perfectly normal to feel a little like you've dived off the deep end. Wish I could help more--keep strong! emoticon

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HI-NRG 12/28/2012 12:38AM

    My first response to your suggestion of quitting your job was thinking what I would do. I think that if I had extra time I might dwell on what is bothering me. But, really, you need to do what's best for you.
I hope we offer you the support you need, please let us know how you are doing.
-donna

Comment edited on: 12/28/2012 12:40:16 AM

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FUSIONFITNESS3 12/27/2012 11:51PM

    One day at a time. You have so much on your plate that it's okay to feel overwhelmed and all the emotions which are overwhelming you. Replace the fridge, enjoy your dad's birthday. Work will come when it starts again. Now is not the time to make decisions about whether to quit or not. Perhaps you'll need a leave or a medical leave for a bit to deal with your grief. Give yourself time to grieve before you make major life decisions, Melissa.
It's difficult to live one day at a time in our world but there is something to be said for it. Because of my health I often have to consciously live one day at a time or it all becomes too much. Leave tomorrow's worries for tomorrow. Thinking of you, Melissa.
Maria

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LITTLE_QUEEN 12/27/2012 11:37PM

    YOU HAVE HAD SO MUCH STRESS MELISSA IF YOU CAN'T BE STRONG RIGHT NOW THEN DON'T, YOU ARE GRIEVING, OH I JUST WIH I WAS THERE TO GIVE YOU A HUG

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BIGPAWSUP 12/27/2012 10:46PM

    Ok, first thing is first - BREATHE!!! You are going to go to the store and get a fridge. Then you are going to enjoy your dad's birthday. And you will handle the work. I know you can. You are just overwhelmed right now. So one thing at a time.

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