Thursday, December 27, 2012
Well, it is not all that bad, but bad enough. No one else died Thank God, but my freezer quit which means the fridge quit too. I had to rescue my mom's last batch of pierogis and put them in the big freezer, but all of our other food, ice cream (not mine), frozen veggies, lean meats, you name it.... Ruined! The fridge just quit. Just quit. Damn!
Jack is also acting very weird. Very nervous, very clingy. He has spent most of the evening and night so far outside. Very unlike him. Every move I make he follows me which is unusual since Anthony is home. Jack only wants me when he is distressed and he can't talk to tell me what is wrong.
Then, I started thinking crazy thoughts that maybe my mom was here and scaring him. But, why would she do that? Then I sort of wanted her here. Then I changed my mind again. That would just be too much for me to handle.
A broken refrigerator? Just what I need. I was contemplating on quitting my job and just collecting disability. I have a hectic schedule for the spring semester and I am really not sure I can handle it. I am beyond stressed with the loss of my mother. It is trying to be that last straw. I can't quit my job now. I need to buy a new freaking refrigerator! Damn!
My dad's birthday is tomorrow too. How do I do this? How do I keep going? I'm really, really not sure I want to be strong any more! Damn!