Thursday, December 27, 2012
Since the holidays are almost over and I have managed to maintain my weight I am ok with that because at least I didn't gain, but as I try to think about the upcoming year my mind just can't seem to wrap around what I need to do to lose this weight I gained in 2012. In 2010 I lost 70 pounds due to illness and once my appetite came back I started gaining. I am so disappointed because I spent the entire year of 2012 wishing way the 35 lbs I gained back. I had pledged to journal my food and give my results a couple of months ago. At the beginning I had 61 days until the end of the year and I am sad to say I blew it big time! I could not even stay committed to that! The stress I am under with this whole money situation has almost got me to the breaking point. I found out today that Internal Affairs is giving the IRS until Jan 2 to release our money or they are going to lock their accounts but apparently the IRS isn't worried or else we would have gotten our money on the 17th of Dec like they were ordered to do. They were told on the 3rd of Dec that their accounts would be frozen if money wasn't released within 10 business days and here we sit and still no money. This was our 4th Christmas in the house with my mom and it is destroying our relationship to the point that I don't know if it can ever be healed. Once we move out none of us ever want to come back and that is not a good thing. It really bothers me to feel this way and I keep praying God will help me to change my feelings before it is too late. But she doesn't see what she is doing to hurt me and my husband and I can't discuss it with her because she gets so defensive and brings my siblings in on it and causes hard feelings with everyone. I am so tired of her lies and accusations and I can't defend myself because no one wants to believe that she would lie but she does!