Thursday, December 27, 2012
I know, I know, but it has been a busy and stressful week and I am glad it is OVER! No more massive family feasts or christmas cookies or pot lucks. I can get my routine and life back!
I find that that Thanksgiving and Christmas are just a pain for me. I have to cater to family and I am expected to do this and that and I just don't feel like it. Plus there is all the family and family friends giving me hell about not being married and providing my parents with grandchildren. Grrrrr. Then my BF goes on the tirade that it's MY fault because I want to be a wife before a mother and I told him no. I told him no because he has no interest in being married or having a wife. It means nothing to him. BUT he wants a kid. I even gave in a little and said if we were at least living together that I'd give up my dreams of a wedding day and being his "ONE" to be his baby mama. That was 2 years ago. Still don't even have a key to his place...
Okay, I am walking away from that entire frame of mind. I'll get too pissed or upset and I don't want that. I am still stressed. I am out of money. I need to pay my health insurance and I don't have it. I need dog food, cat food, cat litter and a host of other things. I get paid on the 4rd, everything will have to wait till then. I don't celebrate New years. I'd like to, but I have no friends and never get invited to parties and such, so I'll do what I've done for years. get chinese and go snuggle up with Drew till the ball drops and go to bed. I am very lonely. I miss having friends.
I am going to hit my calorie target of 1300-1400 every day for the rest of the week and use that stupid boring ass elliptical 3 times. I can't stand it. It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO boring. I sweat and my legs are sore today, but I don't feel like it accomplishes anything. I need spring time so I can go jogging again. I hate treadmills even more than the elliptical.
I hope you all had a great holiday and got to have some time off. I didn't. I'm a contractor, no holiday or PTO. So I am out 16 hours of pay since my company was closed monday and tuesday. I'm in a whiney mood. Sorry my lovies.