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"No rum balls for you.You are on a diet" and cookies in the disposal..Xmas maintenance

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Thursday, December 27, 2012

I have lost 117 pounds and am in one year and three months of maintenance. One of my tools to stay focused during the holidays is to get rid of the abundance of goodies that keep arriving.
I have dumped trays of cookies in the disposal. I might comment that in my addictive past, I would search for unfinished bags of cookies in the garbage!
I have gotten rid of 3 boxes of candy. As I was carrying a box of chocolate covered macadamia nuts out of the house, I had to laugh. I realized that I really have changed my life,. People might think my actions are crazy and wasteful, but staying healthy has become part of my life.

I have enjoyed Xmas celebrations. I did make xmas goodies that my family wanted. However, this Xmas, I have finally realized that I do not need to have a super huge meal of tons of appetizers, side dishes, deserts to celebrate. I am happier and healthier with simpler meals.

So people at work have watched me stay away from sweets for a year. Sometimes people are supportive and other times they are critical. One of my co-workers prides herself on making plates and plates of her mother's rum balls for everyone. This year after handing out plates to everyone, she walks over to me and says in an angry voice, "You are not getting any rum balls. You are on a diet." I was surprised at the hostility. I realized she sees me as being a grinch of Xmas because I have not been indulging in the office treats. She felt that I was personally ruining her Xmas gifts by not eating sugar.
My reaction is threefold. Once again I realize how alone this journey of health can be in today's world. Plus, once again someone is trying to tell me what I can or cannot eat. And finally, I want to say," excuse me I am not on a diet. Just because I am eating healthfully does not mean I am on a diet. I have been maintaining for a year."

To be a maintainer or succesful in weight loss you have to lose your fear of disappointing people. You need a very strong belief in what is important to you. You will often be alone in your journey.

I do not have a New Year's resolution. What I do have is a daily commitment to staying healthy. I will continue this throughout the year.

I am happy. I am in my goal range for the holiday season. I am working very hard to stay in that range throughout the holidays. I feel positive and stronger as I enter my second year of maintenance. I plan on being in that 50% of the 5 percent who keep it off for two years!

Happy Holidays to all of the wonderful Spark People.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow! I like your positive attitude. Great job on maintaining your new weight.
    1395 days ago
    Thanks for sharing that. Amazing how your saying "No" can be so offensive as to ruin somebody's day.

    Congrats on achieving your goal and maintenance status.
    You're such an encouragement!
    1395 days ago
    Thanks for sharing. I have lost 114 pounds and just starting maintenance. I did have Christmas treats, but just that day. I am now back on track. I did not gain any weight. emoticon
    1395 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1395 days ago
    I have to think back and wonder if I was ever like that before I started eating healthy. I hope not. I am not working anymore so I don't have to fight the office battle. Sounds like it never gets easier, even when you are maintaining. Keep up the good work.

    1395 days ago
    1395 days ago
  • CHERYLA2012
    High five to you!


    As others have commented, you inspire me to model my behavior after yours. Your post shows me that I am not the only one who removes food temptation by discarding it. And as someone who has been scolded by co-workers for getting rid of "perfectly good food," I now tell them that just because it may taste good doesn't mean it's good for you. I know I can only control myself and no one else.

    1395 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/28/2012 10:09:38 AM
  • MOMMY445
    you are such an inspiration! what a wonderful blog! have a great day! you can do this! you are worth it!
    1395 days ago
    Thank you so much for this post! emoticon emoticon
    1395 days ago
  • DJSHIP46
    I long for the time when I behave like you do... I'm still pretty addicted to my sweets. Congratulations, you are an inspiration!!!
    1395 days ago
    Awesome! You're doing great! Thanks for sharing.
    1395 days ago
    I probably would have done something different yet special still for you. I'm sorry for your co worker who is unhappy. ): I"m glad you know when to say no to things and keep yourself healthy.
    1395 days ago
  • KWING517
    Yeah, people sure don't get it, do they?? I'm glad the holidays are almost over - we had a 6 foot table set up in the middle of our office that was completely covered in candy, chocolates, cookies, flavored name it, it was on that table. And more than half of our 14-person office team is actively losing weight and very openly following healthier lifestyles. It was mainly our boss that kept bringing in the junk was a tough couple weeks.

    My best friend, on the other hand, gave me the sweetest Christmas gift ever - a fruit basket :) Apples, oranges, bananas, a pear, grapes....yeah, the pear is in my lunch today - I LOVE those!!
    1395 days ago
    Good for you on disposing of the temptations.
    Oh yeah, those saboteurs are out there. They hate to see others improving as they stagnate or get worse.
    My own daughter brings in treats to our house, but she always says I don't have to eat them and jokes with me about my not healthy diet. At least she has a sense of humor about it. She's still confused, because she brings in stuff I used to eat, and knows that I like, but I truly believe 'it's the thought that counts', at least in her case.
    Some of these Grinches are just meanies at heart.
    1395 days ago
    awesome and thank you felt the same this year when one very hostile coworker was offer candy looked at me "I know you don't want any" oh well it my life not hers
    1395 days ago
    Thank you so much for a inspiring and motivational blog.
    1395 days ago
    Wow! Wonderfully put, this is just what I needed to hear right now! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, so inspirational!
    1395 days ago
    emoticon I'm just starting on maintenance. That was pretty rude of your co worker. I'm glad you didn't let it bother you.
    1395 days ago
  • FARIS71
    Lose the fear of disappointing people. Wow. That's huge. Sooooo true.
    1395 days ago
    Congratulations!!! Good job - wish I could say that I did as well, but I did better than I have in the past and all that is left is to keep trying to do better and not give up.
    1395 days ago
    I totally know what you are going through! Unfortunately my main saboteurs are in my family (as well as some friends and co-workers). I just don't understand why people who should be happy for you to change your lifestyle around and be healthy, suddenly start acting weird, constantly complain what you don't eat and when you do eat! When I would have a small treat I felt I could allow myself to enjoy without feeling guilty because of eating healthily the rest of the time, my mum would sometimes say 'are you on a diet?'. She even did it this Xmas! I was given a big pannetonne and decided to treat myself to a small slice on Xmas day with some low fat custard and my mum commented on hadn't I eaten enough and all that! I pointed out to her that I didn't have any of the chocolate or cake that others have had and this was my one treat. I was determined to enjoy it but did feel a bit agitated by that point and felt I was being observed for all the things I did eat throughout the holiday season. I love my family but as you said, people start acting weird when someone they know starts losing weight and sometimes their reactions aren't always positive.

    Regarding the Xmas chocolates I was given this year, I just handed it out to other family members who I knew would eat it (and who didn't want to lose weight) and left it for my flatmates to use.

    All the best with your maintenance, I need to follow your example!
    1395 days ago
    keep up the good work.. and who cares what others think. they have not walked in your shoes...untill then they can keep their mouths shut..
    1395 days ago
  • OJ_2_OK
    I've experienced the same hostility from others during this journey. I don't partake in Ll the potlucks or when they order stuff in I don't always eat it either. One woman taunts me every time. I don't really care any more. It use to bother me now it doesn't. I'm 20lbs lighter and happier. Thank you for sharing though because it makes me feel less alone in this journey.
    1395 days ago
    Your coworker has issues. Congratulations ons year of maintaining your weight loss.
    1395 days ago
    Great Blog! I had a similar experience with my sister and sugar cookies. emoticon
    1395 days ago
    great job way to go
    1395 days ago
  • NCSUE0514
    Fortunately, rum balls don't even SOUND good to me!
    1395 days ago
    great blog
    1395 days ago
    How dare you ruin Christmas like that, you are clearly such a meanie! I loved reading your story, mainly because you've managed to maintain for over a year, so it's an inspiration to many of us who are still losing (or is that winning?!)
    As for the issue of food waste, I hate it too but I try to think to myself, I can put it in the bin or I can use my body as a bin and that makes me feel better. Usually I'm really careful about only buying the right amount of food so I've decided that in these kinds of situations it really doesn't hurt to throw the junk away.
    Keep up the good work, inspiring lady!
    1395 days ago
    I participated in a cookie exchange with 9 other women the week before Christmas. I came home with 9 packages of 6 cookies each. DH & I looked through them, and tossed the ones we didn't like - including the rum balls. We ended up with 3 or 4 varieties of cookies, and I wrapped them and put them all in the freezer.

    They don't tempt me if they are stored out of sight. So, getting them off the kitchen counter is key for me. I've had a few of the cookies, usually with an afternoon cup of tea. But onecookie is enough. In my previous life, they would all have been devoured within 2 days.

    It's really sad how many food pushers there are around us. That comment on the rum balls really shows how passive-aggressive, or controlling that coworker is. She takes it as a personal insult that you don't eat the goodies, and she wanted to embarrass you in front of the rest of your coworkers. I probably would have told her that I could eat the rum balls if I wanted to, but I simply choose not to.
    1395 days ago
    I love the Rum Balls story. Poor dear!!! I would have refused the Rum Balls on three levels.....One~dietary reasons......Two~I'm a recovering alcoholic........Three~ I hate rum balls!
    Loved this blog.
    Happy New Year.....almost!
    1395 days ago
    Loved the blog! We took our remaining Christmas dinner treats over to my husband's sister's place yesterday so I no longer will be tempted! I'm sure you'll succeed through your second year of maintenance! Happy New Year!
    1395 days ago
    It *is* a state of mind. It never ceases to amaze me how judge-y people can be. In the face of such success, why can't their attitudes be "Good for you! How can I help support your maintenance?"
    1396 days ago
    Bravo. Youa are a true inspiration. I gave away most of the sweets
    and this morning, my DS said "Mum, just chuck out the rest of the
    sweets". Yay, I have finally got him on the right road too! I am taking
    the rest to the next door neighbours as we don't really like them -
    I didn't make them, they were given to me. As for your co-worker,
    she is the one with a problem. You are amazing to have maintained
    for 15 months. Your 'positiveness' will ensure your weight stays off.
    Good job. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1396 days ago
    I admire your strength and willpower to say no.
    My problem at work is I give in.
    She was probably jealous of your ability to not cave in like those of us who do.
    emoticon emoticon
    1396 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/27/2012 7:34:09 PM
    Sure "liked" this blog!!

    It's amazing what makes other people feel rejected and angry.

    It's true that I've lost "friends" too who were unhappy with my failure to "eat just like them" . . .

    And: I also throw stuff out rather than eat it.

    It'sgonna be wasted just as certainly if I eat it without needing the calories . . . but then it will be "waisted" too!!
    1396 days ago
    Way to go!
    1396 days ago
    I would have had to pass on her mother's rum balls too. I despise the things. Most treats are really not worth the calories. I would much prefer a good steak and salad.
    1396 days ago
    excellent and that is why you have maintained.
    1396 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1396 days ago
    Great job Kanoe! emoticon

    You have come a long way and have made healthy living a reality! Some may think throwing out goodies is wasteful but I am with you, these temptations are better off in the garbage than doing no good in our bodies!

    Your co-worker is the real grinch not you, you are setting a great example, perhaps she should take note of that. You have made a true commitment to your health and I applaud that, while it does seem lonely at times, you are not alone, we here a SP are all with you! Only a click away! emoticon

    1396 days ago
    I've been shoveling sweets out the door for a week now too. I kept some cheesecake that was made with fat-free cream cheese and that has been my Christmas treat. I've noticed that people always try to make me eat things I don't want, because THEY are eating things they know they shouldn't be eating. It kind of puts over-indulgence on a sliding scale (well, sure I had some, but so did SHE!!). I'm trying not to look at things that way. I'm trying not to think of all the money that's wasted by throwing food out. It's being wasted if I eat it, too, because I certainly don't need the calories and there isn't really any nutritional value. So either way, it's a waste.

    Great job. I'm very proud of you. I hope to have your resolve and to be a maintainer, just like you.
    1396 days ago
    What a great blog! I love having inspiration like yours to keep me going. I expect to take some of the gift basket goodies into the office kitchen and let them go to someone who can use them. I don't need caramel popcorn, fatty crackers, and candy. The fruit, however, is mine, ALL MINE! Bwahahahaaaaa!
    1396 days ago
    How very Seinfeld.

    "No soup for YOU!"



    And for the record I threw 3/4 of a small fruitcake off the deck in little pieces for the birds.

    1396 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/27/2012 11:20:04 AM
    Wow, amazing!
    1396 days ago
    You're such a positive example!
    1396 days ago
    Thank you!
    I gather that you throw the cookies and candy away? Or do you give them away?
    I have a partner who likes his treats.
    With regard to Ms. Rumballs; she could also decide to make a non-food gift next year. I hope you inspire her!
    1396 days ago
    Ahhhh!! It posted 2 comments! I deleted the second one, don't worry :) :)
    1396 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/27/2012 10:59:30 AM
    YAY!!! I call it "The Great Cookie Toss!!!" and I started the same thing 3 years ago...and after tonight's friend visit, we are tossing our cookies! and I CAN'T WAIT!

    As for the office Grinch (now the way I see it, is that SHE is the Grinch because who the heck says something like that to a person! - you give the plate to the person anyway and they do with it what they want! Sheesh!) well, she's got her own issues that she has to deal with... and she is envious on a deeper level than she will even admit.

    BTW - the longer you are on Maintenance, the more compliments you will start to get, especially if you only see some people on a sporadic basis, because the general public will expect you to gain it back,...sad, but true.

    1396 days ago
    Bravo! You inspire and encourage me. Thanks for sharing!
    1396 days ago
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