Its been a long time since I posted and I would MUCH rather start with something with some humor rather than plunging straight into the depths of the depression I have been dealing with
So lets do that shall we?
I have set of bathroom scales I have owned for a couple of years which have always worked perfectly and I like. German technology, very precise and I trust what they say.
They measure to the 100 grams so very precise and I could rely on them to tell me what was going on when I did my obsessive daily weigh in. Within less than a second they would come to exactly what my weight was.
*sidenote* - Can someone explain why weighing daily, which means you know exactly what is going on, some how makes you GAIN weight? LOL
It is clearly stated on the bottom of the scale that it has the capacity to weigh “1.0 kilos to 150 kilos ONLY!” or for the metrically challenged 2 pounds to 330 pounds.
Considering how emphatic! that warning was I wondered what it would do should someone who was 151 kilos dare to step on.
Would big explosive sparks emit from the diode read out as it burst into flame and melted down on my bathroom floor?
Would it shudder and collapse dramatically under the weight?
Would a severely German accented voice scream from the display “GET OFF ZEE SCALE FATSO!”
But these were just day dreams because I would NEVER get to 150+ kilos.
Ummm....well...hmmmm.... maybe I could if I really REALLY tried...*severe roll of eyes*
As my weight continued to increase past 140 kilos I noticed the scales were taking a little longer each day to arrive at an exact weight. I imagined all those poor little springs and weights laboring valiantly to measure my body mass as they looked at each other, mouthing the words “What the DAMN HELL is happening???”
About 2 weeks ago I weighed in at 148 and had not weighed myself again until FINALLY my very VERY long spell of being couch bound and depressed finally cleared.
I had a feeling I had broken the 150 barrier and tentatively put each foot onto the scale, wincing as I let more of weight bear down.
I watched as the display quickly climbed and for a flash of a second I saw “151.2” and thought LIAR – you DO weigh past 150!
And then straight away it simply displayed “E r r”. SUrely if I am now to heavy to weigh it should be something a little more dramatic than some little pathetic "E r r " - comeo on. Thats huge! (pun intended)
I thought “Err? As in error. Oh it must have just been knocked or something”. Got off. Got back on. “E R R” flashing at me.
Huh...hmmmm...so THATS what it does when I get past 150 kilos.
No sparks, no collapse, no “YOU ARE VUN FIFTY TOO HEAVY GET OFF ZEE SCALE!!!” bellowing from the scale.
Interesting that my turnaround and lightening in mood and feeling more like looking after myself has come just as I hit that 150 mark but lets not attribute TOO much meaning to that.
So I am back. Again.
13 is my lucky number and we have a 2013 just around the corner.
LETS LOSE SOME WEIGHT!