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Letter to a Redneck

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Dear Redneck Son,

I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother....

Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off for two hours and finally drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

Love, Mom
P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
DESERTDREAMERS 12/29/2012 7:43AM


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LASKIE2 12/28/2012 12:57PM

    This is too cute....I Loved It! emoticon

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GERMANIRISHGIRL 12/28/2012 12:14PM


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MERRYMARY42 12/27/2012 4:59PM

    loved that ps, seems to me, I have used that one emoticon

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GAYLE-G-63 12/27/2012 4:35PM

    Too funny!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROCKYCPA 12/27/2012 4:16PM

    Thanks for the laugh - really funny!

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MJ7DM33 12/27/2012 3:28PM

  OMG! Funny! emoticon

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GINNABOOTS 12/27/2012 11:42AM


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SEAWILLOW 12/27/2012 9:22AM


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MRE1956 12/27/2012 6:53AM

    I seem to recall seeing this before, but nevertheless....


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MIRFA71 12/27/2012 5:28AM

    Thanks for the giggles.

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TOMWAMP 12/27/2012 12:50AM

    LOVE IT.

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CAT-IN-CJ 12/26/2012 11:41PM

    This (or something very similar) has been a fav in our family for years. So funny. Thanks for the chuckle.

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