Wednesday, December 26, 2012
I woke up this morning feeling so FRUSTRATED..........! My mind kept going back to yesterday (Christmas day). I kept thinking about the people in my life who gave me a "HAVE TO" Christmas present. My sister for example gave me used torn yard sale stuff. You might say well that is all that she can afford. Well I do know better as I use to be her money manager as she wanted me to do that until she got married. I do know that she can afford a nice inexpensive gift. Something that comes from her heart and not from a big price tag. So when I thought about this it hurt me to think she did this. So in my morning chat with God I told him how I felt about this. I also told him that I was not in a good head space. That I just wanted to eat junk, not do the right things today but I needed his help not to do this. I had plans after my chat with God, to have breakfast and then to use my treadmill. So after I ate my pancake with peanut butter and applesauce I keep thinking about how much I did not want to get on my treadmill. I just could not make myself do that. I kept looking out the window. We have snow and I just wanted to go for a nice long walk. I did not want to slip and fall down either. Then I remembered how Dennis just puts on his warm clothes and goes walking anyway. I thought "why can't I do that........"! So I got ready and went for that nice long walk. It felt good to be out in God's amazing creation walking. I had asked God to keep me safe as I walked. So I knew He would do that for me. As I walked along I knew that I needed to do what I call "Date myself". I know it's important to be my own best friend. I knew that today I needed to have a date with myself. To do something positive for me. So as I walked along I thought about going up to Big R and look at clothes. So after I met with my job counselor I headed up to Big R. When I got there I looked at clothes. I tried on a pair of jeans that fit so nice. I still can't imagine I wear a size 1. I also tried on a cool forest green blouse. I loved the blouse the moment I put it on. I also knew I had to be realistic about my income so I knew I could not buy the jeans. I just could not afford 40 bucks for a pair. So I bought the blouse with a cool pair of earrings and left the store and headed on home. I knew this was what I needed to do for me. As I walked on home I felt a little better about my day so far. I got a phone call from my friend Geri. It was nice that she was checking in on me. I told her I was so thankful that she included me in her Christmas meal. When I got home I saw a missed call from Dennis so I called him. He was checking in with me. I was able to tell him about my today. He's such a good friend and listener. He told me that is what friends are for someone to vent your frustrations to. He was glad to hear that I had bought myself something special as he has told me before that it is important to take care of yourself...to love yourself and to treat yourself with the respect you deserve. He was just the phone call that I needed at that moment. I do know that today has been a challenging day. But it also has been a good day. God took care of me. I had 2 friends call and check up on me. I also got my cardio workout in inspite of not wanting to be on my treadmill. And I had a good date with myself. All in all a good day...........just depends on how you look at things. I just choose to turn the negative into a postive.