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    KNH771   116,229
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A Brand New Love Affair

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Hello Spark Peeps!

I knew that I'd been neglecting my blogs, but I didn't realize how much neglect was there. No posts in pretty much two months! I think that is a record for me.

This is the time of year when, if you're like me, you do a lot of reflection on the past year. Maybe you make some plans for the year just around the corner. I've been doing a lot of both.

It's pretty obvious to me that I need to make some life changes. I'm over-scheduled and over-stressed and I've got to let some things go. Then I need to gradually select some new things to add in.

One thing I'm going to work on in the new year...

I need to consciously start working on my love affair with myself.

I've noticed lately that a lot of my mental conversations are nasty. I'm constantly beating myself up. For eating the wrong things. For having a messy desk. For not working hard enough to maintain relationships with friends and family.

If anyone else said these things, I'd go on the war path. I would make it my mission to take down the person with stinging, self-serving passive aggression. But if I'm the author of the noise, it settles in like background music, the constant hum the soundtrack of my daily life. I imagine it's kind of like the the hidden messages that were supposed to be embedded into your records that you could only hear when you played them backwards!

So the skeleton of my 2013 goals will revolve around ways that I can learn more about and honor myself. If I don't extend kindness to myself, I can't expect anyone else to either. It also limits my ability to share kindness with those I encounter.

I'm still working it out, but I'll post more about it as we get through these last days of 2012 and early days of 2013.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
KAMCCLARY 12/31/2012 11:55AM

    I am right there with you!

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CARLANNIE 12/28/2012 11:18AM

    That poster that you put up is right on target - it is essential that we care for ourselves, but we're often the first ones to be held in contempt. Why? I don't know. But your recognition of the problem becomes the first step in solving it. Looking forward to seeing your New Years Goals!

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CHEFSOPHIE 12/27/2012 5:49PM

    I need to do the same thing!

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TRUEPEACENIK 12/27/2012 12:22PM

    Yes, yes, yes!
In the Hip Mama survival guide, Ariel Gore made a comment about negative self talk. She compared it to people living on your couch. She pointed out that we'd toss out those non-rent paying crackheads on our couch, so why were we letting them live rent free in our heads?

I still have to kick out the crackheads. And my son is now 21.
How is THAT for great parenting advice? I gave the book away when he was in third grade.

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CC3833 12/27/2012 11:39AM

    I like this. I know what you mean. And I think you really hit the nail on the head. We never put ourselves first and we suffer because of it. This blog came just in time. My coworker just asked me what my new years resolution was going to be. And I had no idea. Now I do. Be nicer to myself!!!

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JACKIE4019 12/26/2012 9:18PM

    Sounds like a good start


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RDGISME 12/26/2012 6:52PM

    I so hear ya!! If we were as hard on a friend as we are on ourselves, they would tell us to "step off'! They would not tolerate it! Why should we tolerate it of ourselves? I will be working on the same things in my new year~lets stay in cahoots!! emoticon

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LALMEIDA 12/26/2012 5:38PM


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NIKKICOLE83 12/26/2012 5:14PM

    Your writing style is awesome. I was just enraptured in the word choices. I think your intelligence alone is enough reason to love yourself. Great blog!

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CAT609 12/26/2012 4:27PM

    Good luck on your new goals! emoticon

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