It's a roaring heat wave of 1 degrees today!
I've had our lovely white Christmas and I'm done with the snow and the freezing temps that lock in the frozen landscape.
I'm reminded of the many many years the hubs and I spent in Iowa before we got smart and made the move to sunny Florida. That decision was brilliant and life saving for both of us!
It's funny but the first conversation we shared over coffee and a slice of shared pie at a local Perkins restaurant was "how the heck would one go about getting out of Iowa?" DH was loaded down with a guilt inducing mother (who hasn't lost a whit of THAT skill) and a 'meaner than a junk yard dog sister who lived with that guilt master... To put it in a nutshell...misery loves company!
I had a crazy nutcase of a husband that I had just recently mustered up the courage to leave after dating him from age 13 and marrying him at age 17. After 10 years of misery I was ready to dream of leaving a town that brought out the stress factor in my world daily! If you look up stalker in the dictionary you'd find a pic of my ex. He had the attitude that if he couldn't have me no one else would either. He followed me and called me with no mercy. I told Don that he might not even want to get involved with me since I couldn't vouch for his safety with this looney toon!
We became fast buddy's with a common goal that developed over time into a deep and abiding romance!
I do know one thing for sure at this point in time...if we had't escaped this strangulating family and town we never would have celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary last year with number 35 on the horizon in May.
I would not have tolerated the outside influences from his demanding and impossible to please mother and mean resentful sister...who were totally hell bent on tearing our fledgling relationship apart. My first sobbering clue of this is when his mother pulled out pics of Don with former girlfriends. This of course was long before photoshop and cropping tools were available so these pics with women that must have irked his mother actually had their heads cut out of the pics!
What the..not exactly the best welcoming indicator as to how you might be accepted into the family right?
Every time I come back to this hornet's nest I'm immediately reminded of how smart we were to get the heck out of Dodge! Sometimes you just have to flee the toxicity in self preservation...this is a shout out to my dear friend Kelly.
I've never met people that no matter how hard you try to please them are absolutely unpleaseable!
We took MIL to a cute holiday movie yesterday. She is hard of hearing so I suggested she get the earphones they hand out for the hearing impaired. She wouldn't hear of it..."I can ALWAYS hear the movies just fine!" You'd think I'd asked her to wear a poster board announcing...I'm deaf!
Alrighty then....as we settle in to enjoy the movie dear MIL loudly announces she can't hear the movie...which of course disrupts our ability to hear the movie..which then unleashes a whispered conversation between the hubs and I about should he stumble back down to the lobby and chase down the earphones...and if he does get the earphones will she actually put them on...or...complain that she still can't hear or doesn't know how to work them!
It's always this tightrope of ...what can we possibly do to anticipate making this little woman happy and how do we cope when she finds something as she ALWAYS does..to suck the living daylight out of what should be an appreciated and special event.
She's already started the moaning about her beloved son leaving...what the?? Yesterday was day TWO..I gently suggested she should live in the moment..not the past...nor the future.
It's impossible for this neurotic little woman to comprehend...it will NEVER change she just turned 86 on Christmas ..it just makes me sad to think 35 years have been squandered of what could have been a loving and supportive relationship for one that has been fraught with meanness, jealously and pettiness. Just sad and sooo exhausting!
I was always so sad that we lost our beautiful son josh and he didn't get the chance to marry so I could use my hard won lessons on how NOT to be the MIL from hell..I pledged that no matter what I thought of his life mate choice...I'd set MY feelings aside and honor this person and respect them simply on the merit that it was HIS choice so it had to be the right one for HIM...therefore MY choice for his happiness.
It's just what it is..I endure and pray for the patience to get through each visit. I've absolutely drawn my line in the sand over going over on the last day the day of good byes. The hysterics are just too much for me to endure...and THAT just is...what it is!
Today we do lunch...DH'S is wanting to do another movie which he says his mother loves...me I'm on the tightrope again...does she REALLY want to see another movie...you really never know.. This is the problem with those who have no opinion UNTIL after the fact and then barrage you with critisim...it's ALL so maddening...no wonder his sister who has lived with this little lady for the past 55 years is mean and frustrated..as I say it's all just so sad..this is what misery loves company looks like up close and personal.
Here's the little darling...she really is a sweet little lady..I have a hard time understanding why she is so miserable.
This is me trying my best to add a holiday smile..all will be okay..we understand each other, we both love Donnie with all our hearts and that will probably be our only common link in this lifetime.