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    EVER-HOPEFUL   135,270
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looking back to move forward

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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

before i start my reflections blog i want to take this oputunity to thank each and every one of you for all your support,love,encouragement and inspiration you have given me on this my never ending journey.only some of you(you know who you are)i would never have got this far and would have given up long ago.so emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

i started this my journey nearly 4 years ago on the 26 january 2009 when i eventually came out of hospital after the birth of my son ayman on the 26th november 2008.in the two months i was in hospital after his birth i nearly died 3 times and had to have two emergency operations which saved my live.since his birth there has been several more ops and i have nearly died since then and one time had to be actually resussitated .so that is how close to death i was,lol.the events after aymans birth sort of woke me up.i knew i was over weight.who at 330lbs doesnīt know they are over weight.in my case though even though i was overweight i never ever(still donīt)had any of the medical problems asociated with being overweight.i had/have slightly low blood pressure not high.(infact my dr says i perfect blood pressure as when i get upset or angry etc it goes into the normal blood pressure range)the lung specialist has always been surprized at how good my blood gases are.she even said my blood gases when i had my cluster of lung embolies were better than herīs.(she is really thin and 30 years younger than me)i just replied when she said that.doesnīt it make you want to do something about your blood gases?she just looked blank at me back.i have never had diabetes not even in any one of my 6 preggnancies and i also have low blood cholestral.so even though i was overweight i never saw it as a reason to do anything to change it.it was only when i started having medical problems (none weight related)that i decided it was time to do something about my weight as well.i had three small children.my mother died when i was young and i didnīt want the same thing happening to my children.though it has been a very rough ride this last few years with lots of ups and downs(not just in the weight loss department)it has been worth while.i have gained lots from this site that i havenīt always had in my real life.that is unwavering support,understanding,friendsh
ip,love etc etc.donīt get me wrong i have love at home from my husband and children etc but sometimes it is not enough.if there are too many stresses etc the suppport can sometimes be lost under the burden of stress.sometimes i need to talk and get things of my chest there and then and noone is around by me in my real world,or they are sleeping etc.because this is like a 24 hour thing no matter when i write it her and get things off my chest there is always someone to answer and uplift me.sometimes people in our own life have enough of their own burdens that we donīt want to give them our burdens as well or let them know how weak we really are sometimes.we want them to see us as strong which even if we are most of the time there are times when we have weaknesīs.after all we are only human.also i donīt know about you sometimes it is easier to get things out when we put it down on paper so to speak.i know i had more support and love from here re my facial paralise than i had in real life where i had looks stares and comments.i had comments from you here but they were building up comments to bolster my ego,not bring me down.they were to encourage me and to give me face so to speak.all of you who replied to that blog i thank you from the bottom of my heart you really donīt know how much it meant and still means to me. here is a link to that blog which was so hard for me to post,but the blog because of the response that i was glad i had posted.you can see what you wrote and know why i was greateful for what you had wrote.
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=5042595

it is thanks to you people here that i even have the courage to repost the link to the blog.see how far i have come.anyway back to my journey when i started this journey i weighed 330lbs i now weight 186lbs which is a weight loss of 144lbs total so far.it has not been easy by far.it has been a great struggle and still is.i still have 36lbs to go and hope to make it in the coming year but if i donīt i donīt.main thing to me is by the end of next year i donīt want to weigh more than i weigh now.this shows how far i have come.before i was obsessed with getting to goal and wanted it here and now.now to me it is the journey that counts more than the actual weight loss.if i get to goal weight next year or in 5 years,is ok.main thing is i get to goal and learn things on the way.this last year i have lost 27.5lbs which may not seem alot compared with some ,i have some spark friends that have lost over 100lbs in 9 months and i am pleased for them but i am also pleased and proud of what i achieved this last year.27.5 lbs is an aweful lot when you concider all i went through this last year or two in fact it is great.january this year i weighed 204.5 lbs and i now weigh 186lbs that to me is mostly down to you my lovely friends here on spark people.the other really big thing that has happened this year and is something i have tried in the past loads of times but this time i think i have cracked it.I HAVE NOT HAD A DIET COKE IN OVER 3 MONTHS.so ya me. emoticon.
there have been over NSV like fitting into the emrald ring my father gave me for my 18th birthday,going down dress sizes etc but to me the biggest not only this year but since my journey is definately NO DIET COKE.i have only drank water since then as i donīt like tee or coffee.so on the whole it has been a successful year for me.
what plans have i for next year?good question,can i answer it?some.mainly because i havenīt looked that far yet.i do know iwould like to loose weight .i do know i donīt want to put my weight back on.i would like to meet goal but that isnīt as important as it once was.it isnīt the be all,end all that it once was.what is more important is being true to myself,building up my consistancey,stopping my emotional eating if that is at all possible.at least get it more under control.be more open to new ideas,getting into strength more.being there more for others here on sp like they have been here for me.being more organised(better around the house,lol)more planning re food,time,etc,etc.having more me time,more acceptance that my life will always have stress in it and learning to deal with it better.so you see even though weight loss is still important for me it is no longer in the forefront .life is in the forfront.the life i want to live,the life i want my children to have.another thing i really want to do is get across to everyone who is on this journey is that it is possible.if i can do it with all my life throws at me then anyone can.they can but only if they really want to.want to for yourself and not to other people.only if you are willing to work for it.but hey anything worth having is worth working for.remember you are worth.you are worth being the best possible person you can be.you are worth lifing your life to the full.you are worth having the energy instead of being tires and lethargic all the time.YOU are YOU.YOU are SPECIAL.YOU are UNIQUE.YOU are WORTH.remember that.

i have a favour to ask you my friends.i have a secret ambition since being on spark and i am hoping you will help me reach my ambition.i would like to reach out as many people as possible just once to let people who are just started this journey or feel like giving up as they donīt seem to be getting anywhere.i want them to know it is possible that they have the POWER.that they can do itfor that i need to once be voted as a popular blog so my friends if you like this blog press the like button,post the link to this blog along so more people can read it and like it. just to know that i have maybe helped,support and inspired some people to keep going like you have all supported,helped and inspired me will mean alot.thanks to you all once again and i wish you all a great,happy,healthy,fun new year. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATNCAG 10/25/2013 9:41AM

    Way to go Pink Viking! U have inspired me! I read a couple of your blogs & checked out your SparkPage & u lit a SPARK in me! So far I have lost 60 pounds & still have a very long way to go! I started out at 470 & my goal is 170! I am hoping to do as well as you! U are beautiful inside & out! REMEMBER THAT!


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SUPERSYLPH 7/14/2013 12:12PM

    You have inspired me. emoticon

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EMILYDOODLE 1/13/2013 11:14PM

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EFFRAYECHILDE 1/8/2013 11:24AM

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FARFROMASAINT 1/3/2013 10:57PM

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SERASARA 1/2/2013 8:09PM

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NEWLEAF16 1/2/2013 5:08PM

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LRSILVER 1/2/2013 7:15AM

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AHMARROSE 1/1/2013 11:14PM

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PENOWOK 1/1/2013 11:08AM

    Keep up the great work!

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CM_GARDNER78 12/31/2012 10:09PM

    Congratulations!! You have had so much success and are truly an inspiration! Keep up the wonderful work, and many blessings to you in 2013!!

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MANILUS 12/31/2012 12:19AM

    Congratulations on your wonderful progress! You are an inspiration, keep it up!!

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CRYSALLIS1 12/30/2012 9:17PM

    emoticon Look at you with all your success and your Blog as a Spark Popular Blog! emoticon

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DMEYER4 12/30/2012 8:00PM

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PRAIRIECROCUS 12/30/2012 4:45PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Happy New Year 2013 ! emoticon emoticon

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FIRECOM 12/30/2012 12:31PM

    A message to all IT CAN BE DONE. Thanks

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JSTETSER 12/30/2012 6:59AM

    go girl, go!
http://www.sparkpeople.com/m
ypage_public_journal_individual
.asp?blog_id=5180526

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SUSIEPH1 12/30/2012 5:04AM

    Woo Hoo Karen .. Well said my lovely friend ...
emoticon Hope you all have a better year next year .. emoticon
hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHERYLSBUTT 12/29/2012 6:26PM

    Remain
ever hopeful

it is the encouragement we need to stay in sync

Happy New Year!!

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HOLLY_G 12/29/2012 2:38PM

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RITAROSE 12/29/2012 10:53AM

  You have done an amazing job with your weight loss! emoticon
You can do even more in 2013! As an aside I must tell you that I took a challenge that Indy Girl had 3 or 4 years ago for one month's time to not drink pop (soda) . At the end of a successful month I contimplated having a diet coke and realized that I didn't want it! Haven't had one since Dec. 2009 or 2008. I drink ooodles of water and yes, I do have my coffee every day.
Happy and healthy 2013 to you! emoticon

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PROVERBS31JULIA 12/29/2012 6:32AM

    Excellent progress kicking that Diet Coke to the curb and drinking water!!!
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Way To Go!!

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FRANCES-AGAPE 12/28/2012 10:24PM

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You are very inspiring !
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I totally relate to you about colas
I don't drink alcohol or smoke
BUT
I LOVE Coca-Cola !



Have a Super Saturday


BLESSINGS!
<
BR> emoticon emoticon
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SWIMLOVER 12/28/2012 7:53PM

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LAWANDMUSIC 12/28/2012 7:33PM

    Thanks for your post. I started on Spark People in September 2012. Not a true beginner, I suppose, but I have been to Curves regularly for four years - to little effect. I pray that Sparkpeople and its programs, and the support for the members, will help me to shed the 80 pounds that I must lose. I, too, have low blood pressure, no weight-driven diseases. However, I am turning 60 in March, and I am frightened about the future, physically.

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ROCKETGIRL229 12/28/2012 1:14PM

    Nice blog. Best wishes to you and your continued success.

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JITTERBUGJOY 12/28/2012 12:05PM

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SONGBIRDPAULA 12/28/2012 8:09AM

    emoticon emoticon Howdy! from the DFW area of Texas!

Thank you so much for writing this blog. I definitely needed to hear this in my "journey mind" and read this with my eyes!

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Have a blessed day and wonderful journey to the new you!

Paula emoticon

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NOHA_ALEX 12/28/2012 6:43AM

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LEANMEAN2 12/28/2012 5:30AM

    Congratulations!

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BLUEJEAN99 12/28/2012 1:56AM

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ILIKETOZUMBA 12/28/2012 12:38AM

    What an amazing blog. Your journey is SO inspiring. I'm so glad you survived all your health scares and are now in a much healthier place! And CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss and all your NSVs, especially the Diet Coke victory! :) WAY TO GO!!

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JAMER123 12/27/2012 10:57PM

    What a wonderful blog!! And you are to be congratulated for your weight loss as well!! I hope you continue to reach to your goals and make them!!
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PLAYLIN 12/27/2012 10:17PM

  You opened your heart in your blog and your honesty is so true of all of us at times. I'm very proud of you and your journey and glad that you have realized its the journey not the ending that counts. Good luck with your goal. emoticon emoticon

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BARBARAROSE54 12/27/2012 9:18PM

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GRANDMASHUNGRY 12/27/2012 8:41PM

    Congratulations on the weight loss. Wonderful blog. Thanks for sharing it with all of us.

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LOLAJO54 12/27/2012 8:02PM

    fantastic

will do


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HEARTS116 12/27/2012 7:42PM

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KHALIA2 12/27/2012 7:22PM

  TO GOD BE THE GLORY! I thank Him for bringing you back and giving you another chance.
You did a marvelous job on losing the weight. emoticon emoticon

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SHOAPIE 12/27/2012 7:11PM

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SJKENT1 12/27/2012 7:00PM

    Happy New Year

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LESLIE56 12/27/2012 6:46PM

    emoticon emoticon Loved your blog..

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PATRICIAANN46 12/27/2012 6:31PM

  emoticon Blog............ emoticon

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SPEEDY143 12/27/2012 5:51PM

    "....if you like this blog press the like button" emoticon emoticon with all your successes emoticon emoticon

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DIANNEMT 12/27/2012 5:24PM

    Congratulations!! Hope your medical issues are GONE and you'll be healthy all of 2013!

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LTMURPHY7 12/27/2012 4:44PM

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CICELY360 12/27/2012 4:43PM

  Thanks for sharing.

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ALIDOSHA 12/27/2012 4:24PM

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MICYWALTON 12/27/2012 3:37PM

    WOW!! Girlie, you got your wish! Congrats on the great blog!!

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