Day 6 left..again

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

I almost forgot that there are 31 days in Dec. Now we have 6 days left till 2013. Today is Christmas & Merry Christmas to everyone. There is just nothing going today. I went to work for a while and I felt like town was almost empty. I was seeing cars on a road but it felt it like this is not the same street where I always go. Anyways it was just another day for me. I just feel like everything is going out of the way. I just don't feel my life same anymore.

I want to go out and spend time with friends but my parents always said no to me and now I don't even want to ask them. There was no restriction for my brother & sister. I had small talk about this topic to my hubby and he said that once he will be here there will be no restriction. But at this point I have lost all my friends. Now no is asking me for anything or call me for parties or any occasions because they know that if something is going on I won't be there. So they have started to exclude me from the beginning and I am out totally from the group.

I wish I get my friends again or at least make new friends. I am going to make new friends from the beginning of Jan or may be from now. It will be better that if I keep that out of my family. I have lost a lot thru out these year - at least in these 10 years - and I am not happy about it. Time has gone and it is not coming back for me so I am going to have to make fresh start again from here.

I have learn this over these years...When you do too much for someone then you loose your importance in their life. And it is true half way because me working for everyone ; I have lost my value around my house & in my family. It is never for me. Always for some one else. They did this and that but never comes up what I have done. It is ok. Life teaches us the lesson every day

Merry Christmas everyone & Prosperous New Year (yes after 6 days though)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Dear Ankita... I'm sorry you are dealing with these 'heavy' thoughts today... The end of the year does seem to be a time for this type of ponderings.
    All I can say from here, online, is that I think you make a very good friend, you have a very sweet and kind nature. People may need to know you for a while to notice that AND they need to not be occupied with their own life and problems too much. Not everyone is like that so chose your friends wisely.
    My own idea is that it's hard to 'make' friends. The times in my life that I set out to intentionally 'make' friends I was disappointed so finally I just set out to do things that I enjoyed, I joined a study group and to my surprise, I found friends there!
    Maybe you can just try out new things to do, activities, hobbies and along the way you will meet people that you like and that like you and you will become friends. That's how it happened for me, anyway. So follow your interest and you may find others who have the same interests.
    With regard to being appreciated... sigh, yes that is painful when you long for more appreciation. Again not every person has a tendency to express it, but I know YOU do. You are very good at expressing your appreciation and kindness and gratitude. Keep expressing your own appreciation and approval to others and hopefully, those around you will someday wake up and see what a treasure they have in you.
    love, Christina
    1615 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/26/2012 4:40:24 AM
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