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You Might Be A Christmas Redneck If......

Monday, December 24, 2012

-Your grandma's beard is more impressive than Santa's.

-You use the cobwebs in the corners of your house as tinsel for the Christmas tree.

-You really do ask Santa for your two front teeth.

-All your plastic Pink Flamingos yard ornaments have on Santa hats.

-You decorate your tree with fishing lures.

-You leave beer and nuts for Santa, instead of milk and cookies.

-Your outdoor lights are bug zappers.

-You use your Rudolph lawn ornament for bow & arrow practice.

-You have enough cars in the front yard to dress up and name for every reindeer

-If you think The Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.

-If squirrels still live in your Christmas tree.

-If you have to put an electric fence around your Christmas tree to keep your dog from peeing on it.

-The gift exchange at school pretty much involves you and your cousins.

-You use Whiteout on the card you get from your mama to give to your girlfriend.

-You have more lights working on the outside of your trailer than you do on the inside.

-You have a tree stand in your yard and a salt lick on your roof.

-Grandma finally gave you her moon shine recipe as a gift for Christmas.

-The cops stake out in front of your house on Christmas morning so they can arrest most of your family in one


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
PCOH051610 12/28/2012 6:02PM

    I laughed so hard reading these that I woke my husband up! Loved the "nutcracker" one especially!

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LJOYCE55 12/25/2012 8:19PM

  Still funny. emoticon

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IMREITE 12/25/2012 2:28PM

    my dad talked my little sister into leaving Ez-mac (single serving mac and cheese that is microwaveable) for santa otherwise we left cookies and milk. my family did not do any redneck things, just the fun and silly stuff.

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SHARJOPAUL 12/25/2012 8:40AM

Merry Christmas

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FLOWERDALEJEWEL 12/25/2012 12:18AM


TXGRANDMA there's more than a hint of Jeff Foxworthy here.

I reckon rednecks are found everywhere. They might call them by different names but the end result is just the same!!

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LIBBYG7 12/24/2012 9:02PM

May you NEVER lose your sense of humor-----and may you continue to share it with us!!!

Merry Christmas, luv.

Libby emoticon emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 12/24/2012 9:01PM

    emoticon I think I recognize some of them!!!!!! emoticon

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MILLISMA 12/24/2012 7:35PM

    Didn't know you had Aussie Rednecks!!!!! I think I know some of these. emoticon

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LJOYCE55 12/24/2012 2:50PM

  Love it and the picture as well. Thank you.

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GARDENCHRIS 12/24/2012 11:40AM

    I thought the USA was the only place with Rednecks!?!?!?

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KAYDE53 12/24/2012 9:27AM

    emoticon emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 12/24/2012 9:25AM

    Salt Lick was a good idea.. emoticon Hope your Christmas was magical, Jules!

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WINE4GIRL 12/24/2012 9:05AM

    Some of those resemble my relatives!

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TXGRANDMA 12/24/2012 8:16AM

    emoticon Do I get a hint of Jeff Foxworthy here? Loved it!

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LEW0213 12/24/2012 7:56AM

    Good Lord, I do have pink flamingos in my garden. I've got to go get some Santa hats now. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PYNETREE 12/24/2012 7:51AM

    Thanks for the emoticon this Day before Christmas! emoticon

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MRE1956 12/24/2012 6:54AM


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SUGARBABY60 12/24/2012 3:35AM

    sure sounds like many a Christmas we spent living in Tennessee .

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THINRONNA 12/24/2012 2:54AM

    You know waaaay too much about a red neck Christmas...take it from someone born in the South!

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BRENDA_G50 12/24/2012 2:37AM

    This just made my day!!! emoticon emoticon

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TIME4COFFEE 12/24/2012 2:10AM

    Glad to see you're filled with all the wonder of Christmas Jules!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHOENIX1949 12/24/2012 2:03AM


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ZRIE014 12/24/2012 1:53AM

  have a great day. emoticon

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