I have always heard that you must visualize your success in order to make it reality. My entire life I have daydreamed about what life would be like if I were born into a different body. As I reconfigure the body that God gave me, I am beginning to to see the possibilites of my daydreams coming true. As I approach 50 lbs lost and my ultimate goal of 185 lbs, I am looking forward to:
1. Wearing JUST a large, or maybe even a medium. Having to have an "X" in front of or behind my size has conditioned me to believe from a young age that the wearers of these particular sizes were the outcast rather than the typecast. Imagine if you had to walk around with a big "X" on your chest, or maybe even two Xs. It is a setup to feel different. I am looking forward to burnishing Xs from my closet FOREVER.
2. Being able to wear vintage clothing. I love The Betty Paige Store and Shop La Ruche and all the other modern take on vintage clothing. Well folks weren't as fat then. At Betty Page, their largest size states it is an 18 but according to their website and the salesgirl, they run 2-4 sizes smaller than the stated size. Which means their XL is more like a 14.
3. I look forward to being a trophy wife. It may sound horrible. But I want all of my husband's friends and relatives to talk about how lucky Derrell is to have a hot, sexy wife. I know Derrell already thinks that; our relationship began when I was at my heaviest, but I want his boys to know it too. And to me, a REAL trophy wife is not only gorgeous but she is accomplished, smart, caring and hospitable. I have all of that
I just have to polish up the exterior.
4. Having a dream honeymoon on the beach. I have envisioned this for quite some time. Everytime we have went on a vacay, it has been to a colder locale which required me to cover up. I didn't even realize that until putting this blog together. I purposely avoided short-short and swimsuit situations our entire relationship. Not anymore! We are honeymooning in Barbados and I will be in a bathing suit and tanning in the sun.
5. To being a mommy that my children are proud of. I want my future kids to see a mother that is not only in love with God and her husband, but also a mommy who loves herself for all of her flaws. With that being said, I will not make my value about my weight. Rather they will have a mother who has made taking care of herself a priority and thus one who is fit and healthy.
I can't wait until this all pans out.