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    WILDXANGELS   14,782
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Saturday, December 22, 2012

I am unclear as to why the holiday season is so depressing to me…. but it is. I believe it’s due to my family being hundreds of miles away… and not caring about me,I miss my family so much it actually hurts me inside. I know people laugh at me when I say that the gym is my sanctuary; but it truly is. My life is in complete turmoil; but this last year has made me so strong, I know I can get through anything. Purpose, power, pride; the components to every good workout….also the components to getting through tough times.

I hope you all have a great Saturday; I know I am going to have a great Chest and arm workout later on today; because I will make it a great workout.

I love you all….one day at a time

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MJREIMERS 12/24/2012 9:34AM

    Many of us struggle with the blues this time year. I'm missing my doggy soul mate that died almost a year ago and my beloved horse of over 30 years. She died 18 months ago. I know it's not the same as what you are going through, but each of us has our own "battles."

Maybe reach out to friends? I know we always open our door to those that can't be with family. I'd have you over, if you lived close enough! Take time for yourself. Rejoice in who you are and who you've become since joining Sparkpeople.

I wish you strength and happiness! emoticon

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MJREIMERS 12/24/2012 9:30AM

    Many of us have the blues this time of year. I've been struggling with loss. It's been almost a year ago when my doggy soul mate died and 18 months since my horse died. (I had my mare for over 30 years and I will never have another like her.) It's not the same as what you are going through, but each of us struggles in our own way.

Maybe spend time with close friends? I know we always open our house to those that can't be with family. I'd have you come here, if you were close enough! Take time for you and rejoice in who you are and who you've become since joining Sparkpeople.

May you find strength and happiness during this time! emoticon

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IMJETTA8 12/23/2012 9:53PM

    I am with you too my friend. Read my blog of today, maybe it will help you somehow. Maybe something is missing within yourself. Take time to go inside and ask this question. Is there something you are not giving to YOU? Is there something missing inside yourself? Step back as in a movie theater and put it on the screen. sometimes when you are too close you can not see the truth and the feelings block you. There is something that you need to see, to bless and love. Put yourself in that theater and let it show you the truth. Sending you lots of love, Jetta

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SILVER1369 12/23/2012 3:00PM


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JOYCES_CHOICE 12/23/2012 11:44AM

    I wish you peace and comfort this Christmas.

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ELSCO55 12/22/2012 11:14PM

    Depression can hit at any time. Hope your Spark Family can help.

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OKBACK2ME 12/22/2012 10:01PM


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KALANTHA 12/22/2012 7:23PM

    Chistmas is a sad time for many people; you aren't alone. I understand how hard being away from your family can be because I'm apart from my extended, too, and they don't much worry about it.

I've decided that this year is going to be different.

I'm planning to spend my time, relaxing and enjoying time with people who do love me and focusing on all my blessings.

My thoughts are with you and I wish you a peaceful holiday.


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MARYBETH4884 12/22/2012 7:19PM

    You need to find a self made family of friends, it's not exactly the same but it helps with the home sickness! Glad you found a home away from home at the gym. It is a great place to spend time! Have a Blessed Christmas!

Comment edited on: 12/22/2012 7:21:33 PM

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MAGA99 12/22/2012 6:09PM

    I usually hate this time of yr to me its always just been full of disappointments but this yr thing r didfferetn new state new traditions n just a new me

as for the gym I get that completely - its my place of peace

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KITT52 12/22/2012 3:48PM

    a lot of people get depressed this time of year.....when I was not near my family I use to go out and give gifts , usually food, to those who neded it...I served at the soup kitchen..this helped me feel useful and be around people who needed a smile or a warm meal ...


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NELLIEC 12/22/2012 3:32PM

    Even though you are talking about depression, you are also talking about positive things like purpose, power and pride. Those can take you through the depression.

May God bless you!!!

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MUSICFORLIFE2 12/22/2012 2:40PM

  I am struggling with depression too. Several different things contributing - relationship, money, too much work and not enough taking care of myself over a long period of time, loss of hope, and a few other things. I'm feeling pretty lonely right now - but it has helped to read the posts here.

I hope you feel that people care, even though I've never met you.
Family means so much, and I am still going to try to make better connections. I bought a web cam for the computer. Hopefully I can get it installed and I can actually do the skype thing. But one thing - I'm going to continue to develop meaningful relationships with people that live near here. I'm going to go to a different church. I was there once, and it feels positive and caring. Maybe that would work for you too?



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ONICAM 12/22/2012 2:34PM

    I know that in some cases it is that people do not go outside as much. I know that in some cases if you go outside in the sun it helps people get through the depression. I tend to break out in hives during the summer when I go outside, so I know that there are some that would not be going out as much as others.

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STEVIEBEE569 12/22/2012 2:26PM

    I pray the Lord will give you strength during this time in your life! May He also grant you peace as well as comfort! Look to Him and He will make your path straight! Trust Him because He loves you and always will! Despite what may be going between you & your family, God is able to mend that family dynamic! And like others mentioned, you're not alone! May our words be encouraging for you! Please keep your head up! All will work out!

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NESARIAN 12/22/2012 2:12PM

    You are not alone. You are much loved. emoticon

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LOVESTOWALK49 12/22/2012 2:06PM

    emoticon I'm not speaking to my parents, brother and sister, long story. I had my sons, my boyfriend and his children. I find exercise helps to chase away the blues. I feel happier when I'm exercising.

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JANEDOE12345 12/22/2012 1:32PM

    I too suffer from depression. It has helped me to think of accepting life on life's terms. I have to remind myself that this is the one day I will get today. If I can just perk up a tiny bit -- it frequently gets me in a better mood. Tha tiny bit is hard sometimes.

Keep your chin up. You can get through this...


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SPARKLINGHOPE 12/22/2012 1:06PM


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MOM2ACAT 12/22/2012 12:46PM


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CYCLINGSANDY 12/22/2012 12:46PM

    Praying that your day and emotions get better as you do your workout!

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IRISHGIRL3 12/22/2012 12:39PM

    I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. It has to hurt that you feel the family is being indifferent.

One thing though that I've noticed. I have absolutely no idea if this applies to you, but I found it applied to other families, including my own, even if it took years to realize it.

While I was away in college, my mom and dad thought I could care less about them. I was away, didn't call home, being the typical selfish teenager, not really thinking about how my actions or letting "life get in the way" let time go by without me calling. I didn't thank them to their face for all they gave up for me to go to college or thank them directly for all they did when I was younger. What they didn't know at the time is that I would brag to friends of mine about how wonderful they were and how lucky I was. To me, I was very vocal and didn't understand how they were hurt. They had no idea I would praise them so much. It was later on when they met friends or heard through the grapevine that I did love them and appreciated all they had. I just wish at the time I realized that even though I told others, I SHOULD have told them. Even when I was fighting with my mom and wasn't talking to her (we could be stubborn), I still bragged about them to my friends. They now appreciate it, but it really should not have taken years of hurt for them to find out.

I have family in NY that I used to see and talk to all the time. I still see them as my favorite family. Do I talk to them frequently now? No. Do I visit them? No. I think about them every. single. day. I just saw them this weekend and it hit me that they have absolutely no idea that they mean so much to me and are huge factors in my life and am trying to figure out ways to improve this.

My boyfriend, who lives far from me, has been killing himself studying in school, in a subject I excelled in but couldn't help him since it's been hard to see him. He aced his finals and was excited to call me, but I was half asleep and no matter how I tried to sound excited he thought I was placating him. He didn't realize until a family brunch when all my aunts and uncles and my dad congratulated him. He had no idea that I bragged about his accomplishments because I was excited and proud of him. Then he understood that I was happy for him.

These examples could go on and on. But many affections of love have been indirectly communicated. It's something I must work on. I hope it's the same in your case and that you just need the opportunity to hear it.

Again, I have no idea exactly what you're going through. But I bet you have a stronger connection with them than you realize. I hope things improve and doesn't take years like it took mine.


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BOBBIENORTHERN1 12/22/2012 12:39PM

  I am so sorry you hurt so bad on the inside and what you are doing is very smart because it does help so much to be physically active to brighten up your thinking and emotions. Just keep on pushing forward. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PARKERB2 12/22/2012 12:36PM

    We love you too. Have you made an extra effort to contact your family at this important time of the year or is it too difficult?

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CECISMOMMY09 12/22/2012 12:22PM

    i totally understand how you feel about your family...I'm all the way across the us from mine..and they don't seem to care much about what i do either...let them be fuel to your fire!!! Take that depression and put it to use! That's what I do if I am feeling sad I'll go take a fast walk and feel a million times better. Holidays are almost over you will be ok!!!!

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THESUBY 12/22/2012 12:17PM

    Don't let people get to you; the whole idea of happy holidays is just perpetuated by the media. Most people have something about the holidays that depresses them. I'm home for the holidays, but I still miss the childhood Christmases and don't like seeing my parents get older, and I miss my grandma who passed away this January. Point is, it's normal to feel some sadness around the holidays, and all those images of happy people around a tree make it worse.
What's important is what you're already doing; find something that is good for yourself and makes you feel better. Take care!

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PATTOMMC3 12/22/2012 12:15PM


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