The joy of baking Christmas cookies
Friday, December 21, 2012
This was written by my sister Lynda in Pennsylvania. Given that she has six kids, a gaggle of cats and a chocoholic dog (you read that right), I believe every word.
1. Throw animals out of kitchen.
2. Put up baby gate.
3. Watch cat climb over gate.
4. Literally throw cat over gate as dog knocks down gate.
5. Give up on gate.
6. Place ingredient in bowl. Remove cat from kitchen counter. Trip over dog. Repeat until all ingredients assembled and mixed---or you've broken a hip.
7. Preheat oven. Step in dog drool. Slide across kitchen floor.
8. Spread towel for cooling cookies on table.
9. Run out to shed to find fishing waders.
10. Return to kitchen. Throw cat off towel and shake towel to (at least appear to) remove cat hair.
11. Drop cookies onto cookie sheet. On way to oven, slide in river of dog drool. Drop cookie sheet.
12. Put on fishing waders while watching dog lick dough off cookie sheet.
13. Wash cookie sheet.
14. Tie dog outside. Throw cat into mud porch.
15. Successfully bake two trays of cookies before neighbors call police about dog in extreme distress.
16. Chase cat off cooling cookies and offer some to police officers. They decline.
17. Swear that next year you'll buy cookies.