Friday, December 21, 2012
I have been on Spark since June. This tool has been instrumental in my progress & I am so grateful. To be honest though from every thing I had read I really expected to make a lot of friends, a few close friends & feel like part of a family. I hooked up with a buddy immediately which was awesome but within the next two weeks it was obvious she wasn't committed & I think she eventually quit. So ever since then I have been on my own.
I'll admit it, it's probably my fault. I don't have a lot of free time so I can't join every group out there. I tried, it was too much to manage & keep up with! I have blogged a few times & I don't mind it but I am not one to blah, blah, blog about everything. I am kind of quiet & keep to myself....
But I have found myself in what I guess you would call a plateau. It has been a struggle & I now find myself reaching out to others for help. I have lost 31 or 34 lbs (depending on the day, hence the frustration!) Thought I got through it, lost a couple more lbs and now here I sit. Back & forth, see sawing.. Getting frustrated!! While I haven't thrown in the towel I have to be honest & say I find myself making poor choices here & there. Last night I picked up my sons plate & before I knew it I had the rest of his sandwich in my mouth! I ended up spitting it out & then stood there for a minute wondering what I was doing.. That used to be a horrible habit for me & I haven't done it since June.
I am still doing my cardio 6 days a week but I do it when I get home from work now instead of before work. I am NOT a morning person & it wasn't easy but I did feel better knowing I had my work out done & any additional I did was a bonus! I ended up getting sick the day after Thanksgiving & had to take a few days off until I felt better. Ever since then I struggle to get my butt out of bed soo early! It's so dark & cold & my bed is soo warm & snuggly :) Before then my workouts were at 4am, 6 days a week since June.
Even though I still do my workouts, it makes me feel rushed because I have so many other things to do in that little time frame before the kids need to go to bed.
I guess bottom line is I need some help! I am looking for a seasoned Sparker or someone around my stage that has been able to bust through their plateau(s). It would be nice to have some things in common (workouts, goals..) but its not necessary. Maybe different would be better? I am struggling also because it is starting to affect my confidence in myself & what I can do. I am also getting little comments from the hubby that tho they are not intended to be negative are kind of bumming me out.. Make me feel like I am failing & pulling me down more.
I KNOW I CAN DO THIS, I JUST LOST SOME OF THE SPARK FROM BEING STUCK HERE FOR SO LONG!!!