I have been on this path to better health and weight loss for a long time now. I know what works and I know how to make it all work for me…good and healthy food choices; weighing, measuring and tracking; exercise that helps develop muscle strength and gets my heart pumping; and, planning ahead for meals and unexpected events. There are lots of other little tricks I’ve learned along the way, too, including controlling evening eating by closing the kitchen and getting out of there, and not buying snacks and treats or bringing them into the house. These things are all good techniques and as I said, they really do work for me…when I put them into practice.
However, there seems to be this other side of me that I just can’t reconcile or plan around. I don’t know exactly what to call it except what it seems to be: an addiction to everything that is all wrong for me!! Earlier this week, we took a little sight-seeing trip with another couple. We had a great time exploring SE Arizona. Lots of things to see and do, and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. We always had the breakfast at the motel (and I had no trouble making healthy choices for breakfast) and then ate out for the other two meals. I took along fresh fruit and plenty of water to drink.
Here’s the sad part…at every point where I had an opportunity to make good or at least decent choices…I did not! When I could have had a fresh salad, I chose a chicken and cheese quesadilla. In the evening, we ate at Wendy’s and I had a small sandwich and shared some fries with Richard, but then bought a frosty. I had chocolate covered pecans that we bought at the pecan farm. The next day I chose broccoli, potato and cheese soup for lunch and then added chocolate cream pie at the last minute. I won’t bore you with the rest of the list, as it does go on. On the way home yesterday, we stopped at a Costco to pick up a few things we needed and then added some snacks to the cart “just in case we have friends stop by” or if we decide to go to happy hour and bring something along, as most people do.
What on earth is wrong with me? I know I can’t do things this way and not pay the price! I know I can’t have junk in the house or inevitably I am seeking it for a treat and then the cycle begins…hand to mouth over and over again. One bite and I'm sunk!! Somehow and some way I must learn how to live with these challenges! Isn’t that what we hear over and over again here on SP: that whatever you choose to do, you need to figure out a way to make it work for the rest of your life! So how, then, if I can’t even make it through the challenges of weight loss, do I expect to be able to do it for the rest of my life??? When I get to goal weight, I know I won’t be able to magically handle (pun intended) snacky type junk food—certainly not if I can’t do it now.
This blog is long and I haven’t written one for a while, I guess because I’m disappointed and concerned (and no, I am NOT beating myself up, but rather, I’m trying to analyze what it is that goes wrong for me). I’m hoping someone will have some ideas for me. Is it a lack of commitment? It just seems as though every time I get outside my comfort zone of home and my planned meals, I totally fall into this deep hole that I have to try to climb out of…again! What do you think? Surely, I’m not the only person who has experienced this…or am I? I'd surely love to hear from you if you have met this monster head on and whipped him!!!