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Guidelines for Christmas :)


Thursday, December 20, 2012





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STAFF MEMO

Dear Staff,

Please be advised that all employees planning to dash through the snow in a
one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are
required to undergo a risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs
for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is
appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where
there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be
obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To
avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we request that
laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by
any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While
provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras
from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all facility users are
reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for
known risks to the flocks. The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded
that prior to shining his/her glory all around s/he must confirm that
all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to
account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.


Following last year's well publicized case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunity
and Anti-discrimination legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of
Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr. R. Reindeer from reindeer
games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be
taken against those found guilty of this offence.


While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is commonly practiced in various
parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the
bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be
registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal
personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold
are specifically precluded under provisions of the Foreign Corrupt Practices
Act. Further, caution is advised regarding other common gifts, such as
aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger
without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.


Merry Christmas,
Risk Management Department




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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WHISKERS17013 12/31/2012 6:38AM

    I think I've worked there... Memo looks very familiar!!!

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PCOH051610 12/27/2012 7:00PM

    Ha!

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CAROLIAN 12/26/2012 2:01AM

    emoticon Love it

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DS9KIE 12/25/2012 7:31AM

    emoticon

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FUTUREHOPE49 12/24/2012 8:54PM

    emoticon I know what I would like to do to health and safety.

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KANOE10 12/24/2012 8:59AM

    That was too funny. I liked it. emoticon

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PAULAAUTUMN 12/22/2012 8:39AM

    Love it health and safety gone mad emoticon
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 12/21/2012 11:43AM

    This is so typical of modern society--it gave me a good laugh. And don't forget that the owner of the manger must be fined for property violations,, too. I think that the whole pack of them should land in court!

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FITKAT62 12/20/2012 11:52PM

    emoticon

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ARTJAC 12/20/2012 11:20PM

    emoticon emoticon

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STITCHINGNAN 12/20/2012 8:23PM

    It could well happen . A friend of mine volunteered to be a greeter at church door, she was told she had to have a criminal record check! This is so she can welcome people to church. Madness !

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WENDYJM4 12/20/2012 6:34PM

    good one. Sad it feels like it is getting to be that way.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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3G1RLS4ME 12/20/2012 5:35PM

    Too funny ;)

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SUSIEPH1 12/20/2012 4:21PM

    and Santa has to be careful he doesn't get stuck in the chimney ..He will have to address his weight soon .. emoticon

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POPSY190 12/20/2012 4:17PM

    True, but she is pleased she isn't doing a jump from the Sky Tower! I'm surprised there wasn't and injunction from the animal welfare people - does that sleigh have enough reindeer for the load? And do they have nosebags?

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PHEBESS 12/20/2012 3:58PM

    And the angel on the tree has developed acrophobia, right?

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