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    PHIPPSI   3,931
2,500-3,999 SparkPoints

hmm, thinking too much is not helping

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Im really starting to struggle mentally on this journey. I keep getting up going the gym and swimming most days, Weight is changing on the scale but im feeling more self concous than ever.

I knew i was huge before weighing in at 24stone and accepted that fact and never ever looked at myself, even though i was not happy.

Now ive lost 78lbs in last 16weeks which is great but i feel my mood is worse than ever. I am so much more body concous and feel fatter than ever today.

Having a really bad day, even tried to blog earlier to convince myself i feel better and look better. Since then ive felt even worse..

Not sure whats going on but i just hope my mind set changes soon aswell as my body..

I can not put anymore than my 1.5hours swimming in most morning and 3 - 3.5hrs in the eveing every day i dont have my daughter..

O well. fingers crossed something clicks and i can keep on track and motivated.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CTURCOTTE 12/19/2012 4:13PM

Hang on and dont give up!

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242WILLNOTDO 12/19/2012 11:38AM

    Your mind is going through the withdrawal process..the withdrawal from junk food and inactivity...withdrawal from treating boredom, stress, anger etc. with food. It takes time to learn new ways to handle our emotions. Our minds like things the way they were. Sub-consciously, it fears change. The good news is...deny the urges and they WILL go away!


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LJOYCE55 12/19/2012 10:45AM

  Well, you have lost a great deal of weight in a very short time. I wonder if the weight loss also impacts your hormones/chemical balance/etc. - this might be impacting your mood. It wouldn't hurt to check with your doctor. Hope you feel better about yourself very soon.

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SKEEWEE2MEK 12/18/2012 10:02PM

    It will get better. Try doing something that relaxes you and instantly improves your mood, like watching a comedic sitcom or reading a funny story. It sounds like you're doing a great job and making awesome progress, so you should be proud of yourself right now! emoticon

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-POOKIE- 12/18/2012 12:16PM

    oh, but I want to add...

I am now aware I am smaller, right now I'm cold and wearing an ENORMOUS jumper.

One that once I got too big to fit in.

I am at ease with myself, and know I am smaller, still fat feeling after regaining this 40lbs... but I know I am happier with my image.

That is however after over a year after meeting my goal weight (and fudging it up)

cliche alert... but it does take time

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-POOKIE- 12/18/2012 12:14PM

    I don't think I ever lost my "fat mentality" even when I was at my very smallest waiting on surgery.

I still felt like I was going to get kicked out of stores for being too fat to fit, I still felt people looked at me because I was fat, guys held doors because I was incapable... never did I think hey, people look at me because I look good, guys hold doors because I look good... never ever did I believe in myself.

I was always fat and that takes a long time to change, 30 years of being fat doesn't vanish and leave you with amazing self-esteem when you start losing weight, the mental baggage is probably heavier than the weight we lose.

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