How to Heal

Monday, December 17, 2012

I'm sitting here at work, on a Monday, listening to my iPod & Sparking. I would really like to be home wrapping my Christmas gifts and cleaning my house for the holiday.

This past weekend was a whirl-wind of emotions. The tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary affected me emotionally the same way as 911. Friday night was full of tears for all those lives lost and their families. Saturday was anger, how could any human being do something this evil and why was a person with a mental disorder allowed access to guns. Sunday was more tears as personal information was released about the victims. The healing process for something so tragic is beyond my comprehension. Too many of these types of attacks are happening at the cost of losing innocent loved ones, and frankly, I'm litterally sick from it. My entire weekend was consumed with the media reports about Sandy Hook. I'm so scared that my family is going to be next. I can feel my body moving into panic and anxiety levels that are just hanging by a string with the help of my medication. I actually feel guilty being happy right now when I know so many parents are suffering during this holiday season, a time when they should be looking at twinkling lights and beautifully wrapped gifts with their children. Talking about Santa and listening for sleigh bells. It saddens me so much. And, I feel so thankful that my children are here and I can give them hugs everyday.

My nutrition over the weekend was sparatic, calories were way below the lower end of my limit, and my fitness was zero to very little. I'm thinking to bring myself out of this sadness, I will need to focus on medition and exercise. I'm sure staying away from the media reports will help me as well. Not that I can or want to forget about the awful evil in our world, but I tend to get obsessive about protecting my family and it can consume my daily life, which is not healthy. So, knowing that I need to stay healthy for my children, I need to move forward.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can certainly understand your thoughts and feelings. I don't think any of us can ever understand why someone would do such a thing. While this is tragic and so very sad, we can't let our feelings consume us. We have to move on whether we want to or not. I think focusing on meditation and exercise will help you to move out of your sadness. Be thankful for your family and be sure to hug them even more every day. Be thankful the are safe and that you have each and every day with them. emoticon
    1918 days ago
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    1919 days ago
    1919 days ago
  • BARBIE176
    I can definitely relate to what you have said in this blog. This is just such a horrific tragedy and I am with you in your difficulty understanding how this could happen. I think of those parents and families continually throughout my day also. I believe a lot of your reaction to this incident is normal. However, it is really important that you bring yourself out of this sadness though, for your own babies. I think avoiding the media and meditation will help you. Please do not be too hard on yourself for being thankful your children are safe. Saying prayers not only for the families of those affected by the horrific incident, but also for those like you who are having trouble dealing with it. .
    1919 days ago
    What happened was a terrible tragedy. I feel for those parents of the babies taken too soon. But you can't let your sympathy and grief for them consume your family or that will be another tragic thing. That is not to say you are in any way wrong to feel the way you do, it just shows how huge your heart is. Love your children and your family and just be thankful they are all safe and you are together for this holiday. emoticon
    1920 days ago
    My thoughts are as yours... I hug my son more now than ever before!
    1920 days ago
    we got to accentuate the positive
    and eliminate the negative
    latch on to the affirmative
    and don't mess with mr. in-between
    1920 days ago
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