When I stepped on the scale last Monday after having a sleep test for sleep apnea and seeing the numbers 274, I felt pretty awful. I let myself feel nice and "woe is me" for a bit because I needed to capture that feeling. I need to remember how awful, unhealthy, painful and embarrassing it was for me in that moment.

But then it was time to move on from that moment, that scale and those numbers.

It was time to make a plan and to create ways to reach my goals. So later on in the week, I hopped back onto Sparkpeople, I started tracking my food and I've been a daily user of Sparkpeople again.

Monday morning through Friday lunch I did really well. I was making healthier choices, eating fruits and veggies and making conscious decisions about what I was eating. I was mindful of how many calories those cookies would set me back. Though I wasn't perfect, it was the best week I had had in months!

Friday night we did have dinner out, then Saturday we met up with family for a pre-Christmas gathering. It was fantastic and, of course, the food was amazing. And rich, creamy and delicious. That wasn't enough so on Sunday, we also splurged and had chips and salsa as well as a fast food dinner.

I'd say if I had to put it into percentages, I was mindful and healthy 60% of the time, and unhealthy, not caring like I should the other 40%. That's not perfect by any means, but I'm learning and making adjustments along the way.

And somehow, I still lost two pounds this week! I'm pretty excited about that - especially knowing how disastrous I was this weekend.

This week I know will be tough: holiday lunch at work today, holiday lunch at our main campus for work tomorrow. My hope is that if I overindulge at the beginning of the week, to make better choices the rest of the week.

I'm already learning that my food choices are going to be a balancing act for me. Some people also call that moderation, but I think for me, it works better to call it a balancing act because I sometimes feel like I'm on a see-saw.

One "bad" decision and I stay down - like this weekend, but then something happens and I make a good choice and somehow I'm back up and feeling great. The goal is to live in that happy medium in the middle. Level. Balanced.