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RED_VIXXEN
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Depressed ;(

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Today I am thankful to be alive & have all the wonderful people I have in my life. but today I am not happy with myself, I have gained so much weight in the last 2 yrs I don't even recognize myself anymore when I look in the mirror. I look in the mirror and point out every flaw I have from head to toe. I'm so scared of hitting 30 and being as over weight as I am today or even heavier. I have always had depression issues ( seems like it runs in the family) & take meds to help keep it under control but these days that doesn't seem to be helping with the issues I have with my body & inner self :( For the past 5 yrs I have not liked who I am. I try to convince myself to do better & I just keep putting it off day after day .. Where do I go the motivation to change? & how do I stick with it?? People say you have to be determined & really want it.. & I do, but I'm letting the depression get the best of me & now it's holding me down...I try to tell myself I CAN I CAN, but there is this little voice that over powers it every time.. I just don't know where to start or how to stick with it... I don't want to let myself down....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v HUMLADY1
    I agree! Best thing to do is pick one day, one goal, and go forward. For example: TODAY I will make my bed - - - I'm NOT saying you don't make your bed. lol I'm just saying make your goal as simple as making your bed! When you've achieved that one goal, smile, and go about the rest of your day! Do it for a week. As you go and get into a pattern, it becomes easier to achieve and begin to feel better about yourself!! :)
    1252 days ago
  • v DRUIDPRINCESS
    I am sending you warm hugs and positive thoughts! I too suffer from depression and am taking medication, but in the most it is under control.

    I had breast cancer eight years ago, and I did not work my way through the image issues that came with it. I have recently found a really lovely counsellor and for the first time I am beginning to feel hope and maybe even excitement for the future. It is a hard first step, but I really hope that you find someone you can talk to, because you are special, and you do deserve a bright and positive future.

    In the meantime, I really love what the other SP friends have written here. Small, attainable goals are so important, and the big goals will look after themselves.

    "Daylight will peek through a very small hole... And that's how hope gets through, too", says a greeting card I was given at the start of my treatment, and now still have on my mantlepiece. I am sending you a little sunbeam to start warming your year ahead.

    Love and hugs to you!
    1256 days ago
  • v KARENCRANER
    emoticon
    1260 days ago
  • v PATTK1220
    It is hard to lose weight. Breaking your challenge into small achievable goals might help get you started. If your goals are big and will take a long time to achieve (as most are), it's hard to see the progress you are making. Just logging your food intake and exercise honestly and daily is a great start to developing other habits that will lead you to success. See a professional to help you deal with your depression, and be sure to talk to her/him about your weight concerns. I wish you every success!
    1261 days ago
  • v MSANITAL
    I am sorry you are having a hard time, I know a lot of us going through this,but reading your blog made me think back to when I was feeling the same as you are. I can tell you thing will and do get better. You have the power to make a change, just by reaching out and putting it out there you are starting to make the change.. it does not happen over night that is for sure.. we have to take small baby steps and. and start with small changes.. and before you know it other changes will happen as well and before you know it you will like who you see in that mirror..
    you can do it you have the power..
    1261 days ago
  • v USMAWIFE
    Praying things get better for you with your depression issues. My entire family suffers from it also and it is a very hard thing to deal with
    1261 days ago
  • v BEBOP4ME
    Just do a little at the time and continue to add new healthy habit, once you get going well on the previous one. That is what sparkpeople advocates. I would also suggest work on earning sparkpoints as they motivate and educate you.
    1261 days ago
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