Sunday, December 16, 2012
Life would be so much easier if I didn't have to track my food and exercise. Life would be easier if I just ate what I felt like it when I wanted to. Life would definitely be easier if I kept smoking and didn't quit.
Yesterday was the hardest quit day so far. I would have thought it would be so much easier by now. I was in a foul mood. Nothing made me happy. Just some things didn't make me as angry as others. I just wanted to sit quietly or curl up and sleep. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I even caved today and smoked 2 cigarettes, but they really didn't help anything. I thought they would put things back to normal but they didn't. It was really a let down. I am better than I was yesterday but not my normal self.
I think I've gained a pound or 2 on top of it.
I have no motivation to either lose weight or quit smoking today. But I have worked too hard for too long to give up. So here I am today, tracking for 2 days because I didn't yesterday. I'm writing the most depressing blog just so that maybe tomorrow it will remind me that smoking didn't fix everything.
It makes my life back when I was fat and lazy look so restful.
I really don't want to go back to being that way. I'm looking so much better. I am saving money and time by not smoking. So I will continue watching what I eat and not smoking, and I will continue to hope that I feel better soon. I'm not happy about it, but I will keep trying.