100,000-149,999 SparkPoints 117,244

Sometimes I want to give up

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Life would be so much easier if I didn't have to track my food and exercise. Life would be easier if I just ate what I felt like it when I wanted to. Life would definitely be easier if I kept smoking and didn't quit.

Yesterday was the hardest quit day so far. I would have thought it would be so much easier by now. I was in a foul mood. Nothing made me happy. Just some things didn't make me as angry as others. I just wanted to sit quietly or curl up and sleep. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I even caved today and smoked 2 cigarettes, but they really didn't help anything. I thought they would put things back to normal but they didn't. It was really a let down. I am better than I was yesterday but not my normal self.

I think I've gained a pound or 2 on top of it.

I have no motivation to either lose weight or quit smoking today. But I have worked too hard for too long to give up. So here I am today, tracking for 2 days because I didn't yesterday. I'm writing the most depressing blog just so that maybe tomorrow it will remind me that smoking didn't fix everything.

It makes my life back when I was fat and lazy look so restful.

I really don't want to go back to being that way. I'm looking so much better. I am saving money and time by not smoking. So I will continue watching what I eat and not smoking, and I will continue to hope that I feel better soon. I'm not happy about it, but I will keep trying.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are doing GREAT & YES there will be days like that. We are only human & as bad as I hate to admit it (it sucks sometimes) but you are doing this & you are AMAZING!! You are worth every cigarette that you don't light up, you are worth every bite of food you track; YOU are WORTH So much more than you know!! emoticon cause YOU'VE GOT THIS! emoticon emoticon
    1863 days ago
    Hang in there. We are on this journey together.
    1863 days ago
    Quitting smoking is not easy.I smoked for 28 years and am coming up on 3 years of not smoking.You will gain weight ,how much is up to you.It does get easier down the road.I motivated myself by putting what I would of spent on ciggarettes in a jar.My first year anniversary I took that money and bought a bunch of camping gear,took a weeks vacation and went camping.It was my first time camping ever.Second year I bought a new T.V.This Anniversary which is New Years Eve I think I am going to continue to add to it and go to Yellowstone in the summer.You can do this.I crocheted and did the crossword puzzels in the paper to keep my mind busy.I walked alot to because the anxiety was horrible for the first 6 months.
    1864 days ago
    I have some things to say to you, love, and I want you to read them carefully, remember that I said them, and REMEMBER that though some may say I am biased, I believe every SINGLE one of them to be true, and I'm not the only one.

    You are the strongest person I have ever encountered. You have faced things in your life more difficult than this, and you have come out the other side a better person for your choices.

    You are THE smartest person I have ever encountered. You have a plain and simple wisdom about things that put many people's idea of how the world works to shame, and you CONSTANTLY cause me to look at the world in a different light. In your heart and mind you KNOW you are doing the right thing, and your wisdom will tell you that when your body and mood cannot.

    You are the most WONDERFUL person I have ever met, you shine in a way that makes a whole room light up when you enter, and the most beautiful thing about it is you are humble and don't even realize how much people gravitate towards you. No matter what you choose, that will never change. And that person will come back to you soon if you just stay with this.

    I love you with all my heart, netsue, and despite this week, and some of the tough moments we've had, we had them together.and I wouldn't trade a single one...I brag about you to EVERYONE I know, and I am SOOO proud of you for getting this far.

    No matter what happens, I will always be proud of you. And you can do this. I know you can. And whatever you need from me, you KNOW you have it.

    1864 days ago
    You hit every nail on the head how i feel this weekend. I know i cant give up but i just want it to be easier... But if it was easy we would have done it by now. ITS NOT GOING TO BE EASY BUT IT WILL DEFINATELY BE WORTH IT! thats what i say to get through a tough day.... I have a picture of what a pound of fat looks like and i remind myself everyday how many i have lost.... Keep pushing you can do it.
    1864 days ago
    Stay strong! You can totally do this!
    1864 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by NETSUE64