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    PIXIE-LICIOUS   132,724
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Failure is the opportunity to begin again....

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Saturday, December 15, 2012




"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." (Henry Ford)

On March first, I started streaking, doing my best to make each day as healthy as possible. At that time I weighed 286 lbs. I was living a very sedentary lifestyle and living on mostly junk food. Every day was full of pain; the physical pain of obesity from sore knees, hips, feet and everything else...along with the emotional pain of being embarrassed by how I looked and by my own lack of control over food. When I finally just got so sick of myself that I couldn't stand it anymore, I decided to make a change. I just wanted to try to do as much as I could to reclaim my health and self esteem. So I decided to start streaking. My goal was to just make each day as healthy as I possibly could.



When I started my streak, I had no idea how many days in a row I would be able to go. I thought for sure I would have to start over...and over...and over. But a funny thing happened. I found that with each successful day I had, I gained strength and determination to just keep going to the next day, and the next. I would wake up every morning feeling proud of myself for the hard work I'd done the day before. Each workout made me feel strong and confident that I could keep going, that I could do more. Each time I ate a healthy meal, it felt like my body was thanking me for treating it with respect. As the days turned into weeks, I started building up my workout time, from 15 minutes a day to 45...to 60...to more.

I was losing weight and inches, but more importantly, I was gaining LIFE. I've said this before but I'll say it again...as my body got smaller, my life got bigger! I stopped thinking of this as a streak, and started thinking of it as a lifestyle. I became a completely different person...not just thinner, but happier, more confident, more optimistic, and healthier. I was thinking that it would be possible for me to make my streak last for an entire year!




Unfortunately, my streak ended today. I let stress and money worries get to me, and I binged...a HUGE binge! Afterwards, I felt so remorseful and sick. The weight of that disgusting junk food in my stomach made me feel physically ill. It amazes me that I used to binge like that all the time! How did I ever live that way? It does not feel good to gorge yourself on food.



So my streak has ended...but a new one is starting. Am I disappointed that my streak has ended? Yes, I am. But I'm not beating myself up about it. It was a mistake...and I have learned from it. I've learned that I do not EVER want to go back to the old me. I know what I want...I want to be healthy, fit, and trim. And I know what I need to do in order to make that happen, so I am getting right back to work. I have a light, healthy dinner planned. I am not going to starve myself to make up for that binge. I'm just getting myself back on track, and looking ahead.

I am never going to give up. This was just a setback, not the end of the road.


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOSPARK45 12/15/2012 10:04PM

    Now the streak is over, maybe the pressure is too. Glad you're ready to keep going.
Be proud of how far you've come. Amazing! 288 is impressive.
Now you can pick another goal, or chose the same one. It's all up to you!

emoticon

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SPIRALDOWN 12/15/2012 9:48PM

    Lessons are ment to be learned... Glad u didnt let it defeat you... GO PIXIE!

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MAGA99 12/15/2012 9:47PM

    emoticon

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LAINIESNEWLIFE 12/15/2012 9:44PM

    Pixie, that was just a setback today. You're still my inspiration!!! Good for you for acknowledging what happened and then getting right back on track!! That's awesome!! I'm so proud of you!!!

Hugs,

Lainie

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GBSLIM 12/15/2012 9:06PM

    The Lord works in mysterious ways. It's been a remarkably long time and I'm thinking that this was just a reminder to yourself that you can not hide or solve your problems with food.
I know how you're feeling and I sure hope it passes soon. Tomorrow's a brand new day.
I pray your situation improves soon.
emoticon Jody


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BARBARAROSE54 12/15/2012 8:58PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KENDRACARROLL 12/15/2012 8:57PM

    That's it. Bad days happen, but really, no damage is done if you get yourself right back on track. Today was meant to remind you of what you don't want and how far you have come. Here is to a new streak. Now you can work on beating the old one.
emoticon

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MATTEROFHEART 12/15/2012 8:57PM

    So proud of you for being kind to yourself! It was just one day out of many. It is what you do day after day that counts. Not the one moment that you slipped up! Keep going and doing what you have been doing! You are an inspiration!

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BRENDABUNNY 12/15/2012 8:38PM

    Pixie,
I sure don't look at it that you ended or blew your streak....All you did was had a day where you ate more calories then you would of on a normal day.
There will always be an occasion or a time where your eating isn't 100% perfect.
If its only a rarity its just a bad day its not the normal day...In my eyes you haven't blown your streak so keep on keeping on my friend your doing emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CINNAMARIE 12/15/2012 8:38PM

    Congrats to you for jumping right back to your healthy journey! It's part OF the journey... Life happens and a binge from time to time is part of it. I'm just glad you are back to it... it just shows how much you've learned along the way! WTG!

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TREYONE 12/15/2012 8:27PM

  Pixie, congratulations on seeing today for what it is - a small part of your journey towards a healthier life! You are such an inspiration to the rest of us when we have our bad days and positive stories to help us get back on track! Thank you!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MICKEYH 12/15/2012 8:12PM

    Pixie, I am so proud of you being so ernest about yourself and sharing this blog with us. Also, love your "never give up" spirits, even though you've got the binge incident. We all make mistake in our life and each mistake, we learn more and getting stronger. And I am glad to know that you are not beating up yourself for this learning opportunity. Always moving forward no matter what. You can count on me on our journey, we can move forward together.
All of us here in Sparkpeople is here for you no matter what happen in your life.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KATHYJO56 12/15/2012 8:07PM

    Pixie, This is an awesome and fantastic blog. You did NOT fail. You had a bad day and that is just what it was, ONE bad day and that is all it was! You are an inspiration to so many people. We all fall down from time to time and the thing to do is to just pick yourself right back up. The fall is whatever you choose for it to be, just a little scratch or a bad break. I think that you will choose the scratch. emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 12/15/2012 8:03PM

    emoticon love your last poster love and above all love your honesty to yourself and to us.with starting your streak in the first place and breaking it now you now have a goal,a record streak to beat so look at it that way.you now have a solid aim to beat your last streak.and you know what i am certain you will beat it.as you say we should all learn by our mistakes. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ZENRYAKU 12/15/2012 7:52PM

    Thank you for sharing your detour Pixie. Winding ways are easier when you have someone to put up signs and show the way. emoticon Congratulations on an awesome streak, and all the best for the next one. emoticon

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GGMFAY 12/15/2012 7:31PM

    You are still tops with me!! emoticon

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LASKIE2 12/15/2012 7:15PM

    These are emoticon

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MANDELOVICH 12/15/2012 7:15PM

    Excellent attitude Pixie. Don't beat yourself up or starve. Just self-correct, learn from it, and move on. Wonderful!

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GLORYB2014 12/15/2012 7:14PM

    I wish I was right there, you'd be getting the biggest hugs Pixie!
One binge, even a huge one, does not take away all the months of staying on track . . . on the contrary, I think it makes you even stronger to begin again. And my dear, you aren't really beginning, you are carrying on!
You're no different today then you were yesterday, just stronger!

You're going to be okay, you've got a great attitude and loads of determination. Let's look ahead to a wonderful 2013!
Love you!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANNANN63 12/15/2012 6:59PM

    good blog post.

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LITTLE_QUEEN 12/15/2012 6:58PM

    PIXIE I AGREE WITH KITT WISH I WAS THERE TO GIVE YOU A HUGE emoticon

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ADELE66 12/15/2012 6:57PM

    Slip ups are all part of the journey, and you have the healthiest attitude of anyone I have come across on this site. You know how important it is to be kind to yourself, to learn from your mistakes and no matter what, to keep going.

Here's to the next 200 days!

Adele x

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POINDEXTRA 12/15/2012 6:56PM

    What a great attitude you have, Pixie! As long as we have more on-track days than binge days, we're heading in the right direction.

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WILLOWBROOK5 12/15/2012 6:52PM

    That was a mighty long streak. This was a little stumble. Long live the new streak!

emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 12/15/2012 6:50PM

    Sorry but as the last pic said you will do just fine and pick up your bootstraps and keep on going. You are a strong lady but there is also being too strong too long, even though a binge isn't the healthy way, but whatever you learn and you continue on.
HUGS HUGS and emoticon emoticon

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SIMPLYABUNDANT 12/15/2012 6:50PM

    I loved the quote from Henry Ford that you used to start today's blog.

Out of so many, many days of streaking, you had one day ~ not even a full day, just an incident ~ that broke your streak. Pixie, my friend, you are still way over in the plus column for positive action you have taken to overhaul your life.

For every time I have binged or given in to less-than-healthy behavior, I have learned something that makes me stronger and more capable the next time I try.

I honor your can-do spirit, your willingness to be honest with all of us other non-perfect people, and I know you will be back on track...in fact, I don't doubt that you are already back on track as I type this. You are not the kind of woman to let this keep you down. Mentally you are strong, ready to be back on your feet and going forward again.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MUSOLF6 12/15/2012 6:49PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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123ELAINE456 12/15/2012 6:36PM

  Sorry to hear it. Look at all of your Accomplishments. Your Weight Loss, all the health benefits you have made with your body. Your Health and Outlook on things is so much better. You can get back on Track, start a New Streak and pick up where You left off before this happen. We are Here For You. Just Start Pushing Forward. You Can Do It. God Bless You and Have a Enjoyable Day. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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DALID414 12/15/2012 6:29PM

    I'll be with you on this journey, Pixie. So glad you aren't giving up emoticon

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DENRNAJ 12/15/2012 6:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SLIMMINJENN 12/15/2012 6:10PM

    i admire you for how disciplined you are...today is a day i believe will make you stronger...you are learning and sharing with us.... emoticon

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KITT52 12/15/2012 6:08PM

    Pixie I wish we were closer and I could give you a huge hug.....Glad you see this as a step to doing better tomorrow...It's not the end but the beginning.....this is a stressful time and everyone needs a way out sometimes.....hang tough and I know you will get back on track......


HUGS

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4RASCALS 12/15/2012 5:59PM

    We learn from our mistakes. Nobody is perfect. I know you can do it. I'm sorry that your streak ended, but it does continue. Your not the same person you were when you started. You know
you want to be healthy. You have seen the results of your efforts, and realize when you became
overwhelmed with stress that you didn't want to go back to your previous life. Yes, it's a set back if you want to call it that, but your a WINNER in every way. There is no doubt that you will
accomplish everything you set your mind to.

emoticon

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RAINBOWMF 12/15/2012 5:57PM

    You are doing the right thing. Starting now is a BIG step, just believe in your journey.

Hugs mary

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JULIA_211 12/15/2012 5:50PM

    Look at all that you have accomplished! My goodness! I'm so proud of you! These are setbacks that happens to all of us, I'm going through it too. And since quitting is never an option, we'll just start a new streak! I'm with you! I need to do this too. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAT609 12/15/2012 5:33PM

    We can do it! Nice quote!

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TASNIM81 12/15/2012 5:29PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PUGRAD1995 12/15/2012 5:26PM

    emoticon emoticon

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FREETOWANDER 12/15/2012 5:25PM

    I applaud you for having made it as far as you did! You learned a valuable lesson today. You have moved MOUNTAINS with the changes you've made! This little bump is just that, not a fork in the road, just a bump along the way. Embrace knowing that you are a strong woman.
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PINKNFITCARLA 12/15/2012 5:19PM

    Pixie, you are such an incredible inspiration. You have had an awesome and I mean awesome streak going. I have started over many times. So you had a big binge? Now you're right back ready to start a new streak and continue on your healthy lifestyle. That my friend is emoticon

emoticon emoticon but remember, to go off your set plan is ok. The important thing is that you never give up and get back on :-) emoticon

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CAROLIAN 12/15/2012 5:19PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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