Saturday, December 15, 2012
Yesterday.... It was my 31st birthday and I attended a payroll conference for work. After the conference I headed straight home as it was a 3 hour drive. I listened to my Sirius radio the entire drive. When I got home I picked up my kids from grandma's, and headed home to the husband. As we were as a family doing the usual "get ready for bed" routine that consists of two hungry boys, a dog that is annoyed by all the noise, pots boiling, oven timers beeping...you probably get the picture now....I paused for some reason and looked at the TV. They were talking about the school shootings in CT and my heart just sank. How horrific. Suddenly I saw where it had taken place and I felt the world drop out from under my feet - my mom grew up in Newtown and still has family there. I immediately dropped what I was doing and called my mom. Within minutes she assured me that everyone was safe and I felt this immense relief just wash over me. And then I started to cry, tears just silently streamed down my cheeks as I looked at my two boys. My heart ached, it is unthinkable...how could someone take the lives of innocent children. At that moment Cale looked up and saw that my cheeks were wet and when he asked me why I was crying I told him it was because I loved him so much and that he made me so happy that sometimes mommy's cry. He laughed and said that's silly, and went on chasing his brother and asking if dinner was ready yet. All day today I have kept my boys close, thankful that I have them, that they are healthy, happy, and safe. The little things are mattering as much today, the toys scattered around the house, the noise, the fighting when one of the boys takes a toy from the other...I'm enjoying it. No, I'm loving it. There are families today that would give anything to have this, and I need to remind myself and thank God every single day that I am so thankful that he has blessed me with this life. It's everything and anything I could have wanted.