Saturday, December 15, 2012
For three days I have been on a personal mission to derail my progress. Not intentionally but I have been ravenously hungry and rather than fill up on the things that are best for me, I have eaten my old standbys. Not suprisingly, I started my TOM one day into my binge but this is definitely not something that happens once a month for me. Heck, even on THanksgiving I was under my high range for calories so I tend to have self-control. However, this morning I feel better. I don't feel like chewing on Derrell's bicep while he sleeps (It was a thought
) I actually feel lean today. I feel light. I don't feel like I have been consuming 2500 calories a day for the past 3 days, and even that may be generous.
Last night Derrell and I went to Famous Daves (please don't judge). I was actually full pretty fast and bagged more than half of my rib tips though I ate the french fries and corn muffin. The girl who was SUPPOSED to be our server, Chelsea, was the center of a lot of conversation at our table. When the host sat us he told us she would be our server and after waiting nearly ten minutes, Nate stopped by our table and asked if we had been helped. We told him we had not and he offered to grab our drinks. As he goes and gets them, the host who sat us and another host start going back and forth about Chelsea being our server. The one says, "Its her section, its her table. She needs to help them" The other kid says that Chelsea isn't going to take us. I have been a server for nearly nine years and I am fully aware of the apprehension that many servers tend to have with taking young, Black tables. It is actually how I made a lot of my money and got requests because I gave the folks that looked like me the service that they never got elsewhere. Nate comes back out (did I mention that Nate is also Black?) and says that he would be serving us. He takes our order and continues to give us fabulous service. In the meanwhile, a new table comes in and sits in the booth directly behind us, middle-aged White couple, and Chelsea comes running out immediately. Ironic? Not so much. It had been so long since I had been pre-judged that I almost forgot what it looks like. Almost. THat night, Nate got a 50% TIP.
Back to Chelsea. She was a pretty normal sized twenty-something girl in my eyes but she was definitely heavy in the middle. Derrell at one point says something about her size and being a big girl I am like, "Don't say that. Hell, I'm bigger than her so if she is big then I am huge." Derrell looked at me bewildered and said, "No,. You are NOT bigger than her. You may be taller, but she is bigger than you." I argue that there is no way that she is bigger than me. Derrell says, "She is very loose and unfit. You probably do weigh more, probably because of your height, but you are physically fit, toned. You two look very different." I caught a glimpse of Chelsea again and took stock of her size, her ill-fitting shirt which brought notice to her midsection which looked EXACTLY like mine DID. I had to think, maybe I look different to others than I do to myself. When I came home and looked in the mirror, I noticed I had a shape and my tummy wasn't the first thing I noticed. My hips were, and for good reason. So despite how horrible I have been feeling for the past few days, I am still on track! And now to Zumba!