Saturday, December 15, 2012
Heavy heart todayÖ
Log into facebook, itís there. Every time I turn on the TV, itís there. Every radio station, all the local news channels, talk in the grocery storeÖ.Another detail about the dayís tragic events: a teacherís story about putting her kids into a closet, a 6 year old leading his class outside after their teacher was shot, itís just a bit too much too bear. I can not imagine the horrific experience all of these people are going through. When I put myself in the position of a teacher in that school, or in the position of the parents who did not get to hold their children last night, I shudder, then I stop myself. I change the channel. I force my brain to think about something else. Then I feel ashamed, embarrassed, and guilty that I have the luxury to do that. The people who lived through this ordeal will never be able to do that. I can only hope that in time their pain eases a bit.
I got out this morning to run a couple errands. Being out and about, around other people got my mind off it for a bit. Thatís what I need to do today. Keep myself busy. Turn off the TV.
I did have a positive weigh in this morning. Down 1.4 for a total of 65 lbs lost. The Thanksgiving damage is repaired and Iím making forward progress again, so that feels good. Itís my birthday this week, but other than going out to dinner and indulging in a piece of cake, I shouldnít get too far off track. Itís an opportunity to be grateful for another year on this planet and Iím going to make the best of the year to come!
Iíll keep moving forward todayÖhug my family a little tighterÖbe a little kinderÖand see the positive in all that I can. But my heart is heavy.