Saturday, December 15, 2012
many times on our evening power walk we make good use of our time out and about and pick up groceries from the market.
this week walking home from the market in the snow and wind about 1.5 miles (2.5k) from home my husband carrying a bag of groceries and i with a kilo (2.2lbs) of tangerines... he kept telling me he would carry my bag also.
i insisted i wanted to carry it.
finally after the 3rd time he offered.....
i mentioned that 5 weeks earlier i had been carrying around nearly the equivalent weight of 5 bags of tangerines ALL THE TIME!
he said... are you trying to tell me you have lost almost 5 kilos?... honey that's 10 lbs?!
i was so excited i said YES! i have lost 10 pounds!
it was the first time i had said anything to him about my weight loss.
he knew i had been cooking different things and snacking different and passing up on dessert and holiday treats but we really hadn't had a real conversation about it.
he's been traveling a lot in the last 6 weeks and quite distracted with work so hasn't been noticing the details of the day to day things i have had going on.
i cook he eats.
as i began talking about the last 5 weeks he seemed really supportive and started asking me questions like what my total goal was. how many calories i eat a day, etc.
i told him i had about 10 more lbs to go... and the reaction was... great 10 more and then WE can have some good pasta meals again and cake and... and...and....
i began to explain how miserable i had been with my weight gain over the last year.
the shame. the depression of it all.
that once i hit my goal i still need to be be careful what i eat.
explained the metabolism rate of a middle aged woman and how hard i had to work to shed just the 10 lbs.
explained i have got back into eating healthy food and portions and had been retraining myself to eat healthy like i used to...so i don't end up back in the same place as i was 5 weeks earlier and how the last year of habits has got me into this mess in the first place.
i was fighting back my tears. every point i tried to make, he had one that seemed dismissive of my reasoning.
it was soooo frustrating.
the conversation that started with my excitement of reaching a 10 lb goal and how good i had been feeling, my energy level, joints, flexibility, aches and pains and over all healthiness...
in the end i was so pissy and frustrated.
the conversation ended with me saying.....
never mind, i wish i wouldn't have mentioned anything. i'm sorry you are feeling deprived of starchy fatty sugary food... i have offered you alternative foods every day in addition to what i made. but i just can't go back to eating heavy foods and sugar like before it's how i've gotten myself so off track and in this situation to begin with.
his reaction.. i don't know why you're upset with me, i didn't say anything that wasn't supportive.
yes dear, that was wonderfully supportive. thank you.
how do you deal with those that just don't get it?
healthy wishes to all. xx tracie