Saturday, December 15, 2012
Like so many, when I have emotional days - be they happy, sad, or heart-breaking - I am drawn to unhealthy habits. I want to eat sugar and not exercise, watch TV, or something else that is equally wasteful. Today is one of those days.
It feels almost as if I am out of my body. I basically get caught in my head and can't make sense of anything, so somehow food helps distract me from it all. It certainly doesn't help in making sense of anything, and in the end is more destructible than anything else. So why do I do it? Habit? Self-loathing? Or just a lack of knowing anything different?
Tonight, after a long & emotional day, I started wondering what I would eat next. Something sweet. But I've had plenty of food, very little water and still need to exercise today. It's 9:35pm and I'd really rather blow everything off and watch the news with a cupcake in hand. But even looking at that sentence I know that's the worst thing I could possibly do. Instead, why wouldn't I take care of myself? Show myself some love? Make a decision to appreciate this healthy, living, lovely body and go take care of it?
So that's exactly what I'll go do. I'll get myself some water, do some hooping and follow it up with some weights. I need to take a breath and be grateful for this life I have, and do my best to make sure it's the healthiest and happiest life I can create.