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My Retirement From Social Eating

Friday, December 14, 2012

Social eating is deadly to people like me.

To me it is not ‘just have a bite’ and ‘try this’. It is a gateway to a 3000 calorie binge and a complete destruction of any control I have over what I am eating. I simply cannot nibble around the corners. So I have to bow out, I have to retire from the world of social eating.

I am sorry if you are offended that I am not having a slice of pie, or some of your famous cookies, or if I am not getting a plate of food like the rest of the people. It is just something that I cannot do.

My choice to not eat the food you have prepared or purchased is not an affront to you, it is a feeble attempt of mine to keep myself in control. Every part of my insides is screaming for a taste, a plate, all of it. But I cannot let go, I cannot allow myself ‘just a taste’, ‘just a bite’, because with people like me it does not end there, it cannot end there. Three years ago I lost 100 pounds in three months and it all fell apart because I figured i could have just a taste, I couldn’t, ‘just a taste’ became ‘I’ll eat better tomorrow’.

Then tomorrow that became next week.
Then everything fell apart and I lost everything I had gained.

My knees began to ache constantly
My back struggled in the mornings
I lost the energy to do anything
I had become completely miserable

Finally I have a small part of control again, and I am making progress. But what I cannot afford is a hiccup, a detour. I cannot chance a taste sample of your great effort and skill in the kitchen. I am not willing to sacrifice my future to taste your food.

I am sorry if this offends anyone, but please respect my absolute need to control what I eat.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KITKAT717
    Good for you!! Great blog and much luck to you!
    1788 days ago
    Great blog! I need to follow your example and just say "no thank you" much more often. That handful of M & Ms is just a gateway "drug" for me to start a binge.

    I've gained back about half the weight I'd lost, and I've been lacking motivation. Your blog really helped me.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1800 days ago
    Good for you! Your resolve will pay off in the long run, and the people who care about you will be supportive no matter what and the people who are offended do NOT have your best interests at heart. Hang in there! emoticon
    1800 days ago
    This: "To me it is not ‘just have a bite’ and ‘try this’. It is a gateway to a 3000 calorie binge..."

    You nailed it! I would attend any social eating function with you just to help you stand firm (and you should kick my butt as well). Your post also makes me think I should look for others in groups who might have the same issue and need support. Perhaps I should bring a small sign or name badge to the next social eating function that quietly says, "Over here for non-eating fun."

    Stand FIRM! I support you.
    1800 days ago
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