Friday, December 14, 2012
OK, I am not one to be very in touch with my feelings. In fact, this has causes a lot of trouble in my life and I have been working hard for the last two years to get a handle on this. I have have also always said that I am not an emotional eater....
Well, one of the things that has happened while getting a better understanding of my feelings and the feelings of those around me is that I am becoming an emotional eater. My first response to this revelation was to scream, "Eeek!" My non-emotional self sits back and amusingly tried to analyze this new issue. But, I am hoping that this is just a new phase of this fabulous journey and that it is just another interesting problem to solve (Welcome back to planet Vulcan, BearClaw). Then that newly awakened set of emotions kicks in and I go back to, "Eeek!'
I feel like I am in just the very early baby steps of this process, but this is what I am thinking. I was obese. I was morbidly obese. Taking the relatively simple step of cutting out breads and potatoes and sugars allowed me to lose 130 lbs without ever having to face a single psychological reason for why I eat too much. Meanwhile, in the last two years my marriage has been getting a serious makeover, both my parents have died and I have changed jobs. It has left me 25 lbs overweight...which is a vast improvement over being 150 lbs overweight! But there is where I am. I am 25 lbs overweight and starting to slip in what I eat. As I start digging deeper into my troubled marriage, my emotionless childhood and my natural introvertedness, I have discovered that there is more to losing those last 25 lbs than just avoiding rice. I have noticed that foods that the nutrition books say should leaving me full and satisfied (meat, veggies, fat) just aren't doing it for me lately. And before you low-carb skeptics out there start screaming that I need my whole grains....experimenting with some higher-carb healthy foods has actually resulted in me being even more hungry and packing on about 10 lbs over my low point. The weight finally stopped going back on when I started being more strict in avoiding carbs. But, I still eat way more that I should, even if it is 'healthy' meats, veggies and nuts. The cool thing about low-carb eating is that I really can overeat and not gain weight as long as those foods are devoid of carbohydrates. But....that means I am stuck overeating and not losing those added lbs.
Here is where the emotional eating comes in. I have noticed that my ability to pack down the meats and nuts happens on days when my wife and I are really doing some serious processing. It also sometimes occurs on days when I am dealing with my parents' messy estate. And, those things are starting to be every day....if I want to save my marriage (which I do) and if I want to do right by my parents (which I also do). Anyway, I don't have an answer to this, but clearly it is time to start digging into the emotional eating literature (the Vulcan part of me thinks) and really get in touch with what is driving all those nuts down my throat when I shouldn't be hungry, but am.