Thursday, December 13, 2012
I've been dealing with an eating disorder all of my life. It will never go away, and I will never be cured. Like a diabetic, I will always have this disorder (disease) and my problem is trying to find the right "medicine" for it.
I thought that I had found the answer in OA90 Day. What I found was an excellent diet. I couldn't keep it up. There was no room for failure because we counted our days, just as they do in AA. Mess up, and you're back to Day One. I have had so many Day One's, I can't count them all. And before I got a Day One, I always had the day, week, or month before Day One: eat all you can of everything that you can't have on your food plan, because tomorrow you will start the program and get serious about it! Yeah. Right. Well, anyway, that was what I call "stinkin' thinkin.'
Becky Lu Jackson has written an excellent book for people like me: "Dieting: A Dry Drunk" and the accompanying workbook. I'm working through it with a sponsor who is recovering from 46 years of anorexia and bulimia. I've been abstinent now for 17 days. (I know, I'm still counting. It's hard to let go!) Becky's plan is very similar to the No S Diet in that you have 3 moderate meals a day with nothing in between. This works for me. It's very freeing in that I choose what I'm going to eat, and as long as I have moderate portions, all is well.
I've come to understand that I have an eating addiction, not an addiction to any particular food, such as sugar or flour or butter. When I start eating, I can't stop! So, this program helps me to have a beginning and an end to my meals. I actually text my sponsor when I start my meal, and again when my meal has ended.
Time will tell how well this works for me, but I can easily see myself following this program for the rest of my life.