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    TALVARADO6   9,290
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Announcement time panic - Week 15

Thursday, December 13, 2012

So, I am really freaking out. I just need to get through today and tomorrow and then I will be fine. It's a little bit of a story, so bear with me.

I'm in a sorority, and whenever someone gets engaged, married, has a baby, etc. we do an announcement ceremony. Only one person usually knows who it's for, so it's a big fun surprise.

Last year, I had a friend of mine request one for me. The day of the ceremony, right before it was supposed to happen, I ended up in the hospital and had a miscarriage. I know it's a weird reaction, but I was so seriously embarrassed. My embarrassment overran my grief, I wasn't really feeling sad, I was just feeling bad for everyone else. Like I got everyone hyped up for some big surprise, and then I had to announce some seriously bad news.

So, when I got pregnant this time, I decided I still wanted to do the announcement ceremony. I mean it's not like the ceremony was what CAUSED me to miscarry. And I didn't think it was actually going to bother me so much. I decided to wait until this Friday (a few weeks past when most people announce) because my little sister in the sorority (the girl I helped through the pledging process, for those who are not sorority savvy) is currently going to school in Canada, and this would be the only time she is home. I wanted her to pretty much host the ceremony for me, so she's the one that requested it and everything. I started feeling nervous about everything yesterday, and then this morning at 4 am I was in full panic mode. I don't want a repeat of last year. I don't want to disappoint all those people when they are expecting something exciting to happen. If I miscarried last week, or in a couple weeks from now, I will deal with it, but I just can't go through it the same way again.

I know, I know, there is no sound logic to this what so ever. I know that if I miscarry, it doesn't matter WHEN it happens, it'll still be hard to deal with. I know that the ceremony is not connected to my last miscarriage at all. I know that my sorority sisters were not "disappointed", they were worried about me and were compassionate towards what I was going through. But, it was traumatic and I am just kind of freaking out.

I know in a couple days I will just be "yay! relief!", but I need to get through today and tomorrow to get to that.

So, anyways, here's what's going on in week 15:
-Baby is about the size of an orange emoticon
-Can wiggle fingers and toes
-Makes breathing movements by moving amniotic fluid through it's nose and upper respiratory tract
-Can sense light
-Forming taste buds

Info from:
www.whattoexpect.com/pre
gnancy/week-by-week/week-1
5.aspx

www.babycenter.com/6_you
r-pregnancy-15-weeks_1104.bc



Image from:
www.babycenter.com/fetal
-development-images-15-weeks
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEENY_BIKINI 3/19/2013 11:42AM

    emoticon

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K-GETTING-FIT 12/14/2012 8:41AM

    (((hugs))), prayers and love going out to you. Breathe in and out. You will make it through this. The brain and heart sometimes get a little jumbled, then throw in past experiences and it can be hard. Wishing you peace babe! Oh, very cool that your little one is the size of an orange:) Love those tidbits of info!

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MOBYCARP 12/13/2012 7:46PM

    Your feelings may not be totally rational, but that isn't important. They are your feelings, and you have to deal with them. So you're feeling some panic. You understand why, and you know, intellectually, that it isn't the huge danger that your emotions are screaming about.

You deal with that much as you deal with any other feelings that might prompt you to do something that's bad for you. Recognize that you have the feelings. Appreciate them. Decide whether you want to let the feelings change what you do with the announcement ceremony. If they really bother you that much, maybe that's an answer. Or maybe it's important to go through the ceremony to show yourself that this time is different. Only you can decide which way it is.

And . . . it's a sorority. A bunch of guys wouldn't appreciate how you feel, but chances are your sorority sisters will understand. Or at least, some of them will and you'll be a pretty good judge of which ones. Pick a sorority sister you trust to talk things through with, and you'll probably feel a lot better.

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BLITZEN40 12/13/2012 7:05PM

    Our perceptions of future events are strongly influenced and often skewed but our experiences and knowledge gained from past events. So when we associate trauma and pain with a certain event from the past, it's natural to fear and try to avoid that event again in the future. That's basic cognitive function 101. However, thanks to our well developed frontal cortexes, we have the ability to reason and understand that correlation does not mean causation. In other words, like you said, the ceremony does not cause a miscarriage. So stay in your frontal lobe and try not to let the messages from your primal brain stress you out. When you feel those upsetting thoughts coming on, maybe try visualizing yourself delivering and holding a full term, strong, healthy baby on your due date. Good luck and hang in there! emoticon

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GYMRAT_AT44 12/13/2012 10:34AM

    Babies can sense when mom is upset or nervous - so control those fears and live in the joyous moments. Like most things, don't worry about things you can't control or may not even happen. It waste too much energy and time. Good luck and enjoy.

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