Wednesday, December 12, 2012
ACK! It's been forever since I blogged...for ever since I wanted to feel accountable for doing what I swore I wouldn't do...Put Weight BACK ON! :(
I started at SP weighing 210 LBS, I got down to 160 LBS, than started gaining it back...Why is no mystery, I gained it back because I reverted to my old eating habits and stopped working out. When I started my weight loss Journey I was SO focused and ALONE which to me didn't matter at the time. By alone, I mean on the journey not in life. I have a spouse, a spouse that could stand to lose some weight himself, yet he wasn't interested in a lifestyle change. FINE, I can't force someone to jump on board, but man it would have been a bazillion times easier if he was!
I cooked different meals, avoided the Diet Coke that I really, really was addicted to...watched him eat all the things I would normally eat and honestly missed eating. I like allot of people LOVE cakes, icecream, fried food etc. But I was focused on me...even when going out on the town I planned meals ahead at restaurants even choosing a place based on their menu.
Than it happened....one day I just got sick of doing it alone, sick of watching someone eat what I wanted...I felt deprived!
So 20 LBS came back on, I have been off eating right, drinking water, and exercise for 3months now probably. Actually I have been off of reality I guess....in denial! UGH! Depressing really! My Jeans that I didn't fit in for years and fit again and than were getting loose to the point I needed a belt were now getting tight! I knew it was just a matter of a couple weeks until they would no longer fit me again! :(
So here I am...3 days ago I once again found my focus eating awesome, and starting to get moving more. I am not keeping track of food, because I know my cals are probably close to where I want them and at this time it is more about fueling my body with good food and not crap than it is about anything else. I want to be healthy, I somewhere, somehow lost site of that!
I MUST and WILL do this..this is my life, my choice, my decision.