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Before and after

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Before I was 207.5 pounds. Here I am at 206 and 165:

Before I was a size 20. After I am comfy in a 14. This white dress is probably a 12, but I'm not going to sit down in it. Not yet.
Before my waist was 38.5 and my hips were 49.5. After, my waist is 32 inches and my hips are 43.5.
Before my resting heart rate was 79. After, it is 60.
Before I paid almost $34 a month for life insurance. After, I pay 22.

I'm still basically the same person. I'm certainly the same person I was last week when I had half a pound to go. And the person who came this far is going to keep going, on to a 76% lean body mass and on to doing pullups and being able to run a mile.

I am so glad I persevered through this year. I am glad I took it slow and steady. Being attentive to my food was not the boring drag I thought it would be. I don't look forward to any particular indulgence right now, because I didn't deprive myself to get here.

Last night I was thinking about the way society shames people who are overweight, like they must have some failing of character. But there's also something very off about the diet programs that are offered, that want to get rid of 10 pounds in a week or 20 in a month. Those diets never interested me, because I knew 10 or 20 wasn't going to get me where I might dream of being. But I know they have different diets practically every month in magazines, and now and then everyone will be on some diet from out of a book. I did Body For Life a decade ago, I'll admit. All those diets work fast because they are written to create a calorie deficit for people of average size, and if you're above average size you will be starving on them. If you're below average size, they may not work because they are too much. Probably the magazines conduct research on their readership to see what average means for them.

Anyway, am I where I dreamed of being? yes and no. I picked this weight out of thin air, I didn't know what to expect when I got here. I've never really been this weight. And I don't know what weight my body composition goal or my pullup goal will land me at. But here I am, and I aim to keep going.
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