I have to be honest...I haven't been following any kind of diet or exercise plan since the middle of summer. However, I have lost some weight. I think that at some point, or having hit 40, something changed-my focus maybe-and I lost the weight. I read a friend's blog a few weeks ago about Intuitive Eating. It's a book. I started to buy and then I said, no let's get it from the library because your track record with book reading hasn't been real great lately. So as I read the first chapter, I felt like in some ways, I have started following it without even knowing about it. For the most part I've been eating when I'm hungry and staying away when I wasn't. Now one thing they talk about is not avoiding foods you like to eat. That you need to think about why or if you are hungry (please keep in mind I am totally paraphrasing and only read the first chapter). So I started thinking about the fact that I've taken sugar completely out of my world. I know that made a big difference in how I feel and it helped with some of the weight I've lost this year. But I have missed having some of the desserts I used to enjoy. Now ice cream I took out of the equation last summer. And I can honestly say I'm not really missing it. What I miss is having a slice of cake or a slice of pie or something. So I am considering adding that back in when I've been sugar free for one year-which coincidentally is my DH's bday and 2 days before DD's!

This past month has been quite stressful. As I said in my last blog, my maternal grandmother is not doing well. Mom flew to France the Sunday after Thanksgiving for one week. My grandmother seemed happy to see both her and my aunt. But then she stopped eating after they left. Yesterday we found out that they have stopped treatment for her and that they are not sure if my grandmother will live to Christmas. So now Mom is distraught. She spent much of yesterday crying until she was tearless. And once my aunt has returned to the part of France where my grandmother is, Mom will make another flight reservation to return. I feel for her and the pain she is in. I'm trying to do whatever I can to help her in this process.

My friend who had surgery last month found out a couple of weeks ago that she has early stage ovarian cancer. She will go through 6 rounds of chemo and starts her first one next Friday-just before Christmas I do feel for her but our friendship is so much different than it once was. But I am trying to do what I feel is the right thing without ending up being taken advantage of.

Through both of the past things I've mentioned, prayer has become an even greater part of my life than it already is. It's helped me to be a stronger person as well. While there is a lot going on, I'm still trying to make it a a happy Christmas for Emma (she will be 7 next month!!).

As I logged onto Spark a bit ago, typing my screen name, I thought back to when I changed it to RUN2MYDREAMS. When I first signed on back in 2009, I used the first part of my email. It was in the middle of the summer. But between Christmas and New Years, I decided I needed a change. I had had a dream years back where I was running and I felt so free. So there was the birth of my current screen. However, I am not living out that dream in reality. I've taken a few tentative steps in the last 3 years, but really, no running has been done. And I sit here typing, it really disappoints me.

I went for a walk that was just awesome. I met someone for the first time that I'd only "spoken" with on Facebook. She lives like in the same town as me and has a daughter close to Emma's age. We went to the middle school and walked & talked for close to an hour. Talking with her got me really thinking. I will be getting a droid phone hopefully within the next week but with their out of stock status I'm not sure. But whenever I get it, I'm going to get the Couch to 5k app for it and start USING IT! I am going to RUN2MYDREAMS doggone it! And I know that Emma will SO want to run with me

When there's a will, there's a way! I'm in it to win it...time to my butt and possibly... ??? God has so much in store for me... this new year 2013 is going to be incredible . While recent events haven't been the best, I have to say that my 40th year of life has been a good one. And I'm going to continue to work harder on making me the best me I can be!



Spring 2012